What would Jack Bauer do?

Last night while driving in a heavy snow flurry with a light white coating of powder car death covering the highway, I realized I was driving over either a bridge or some kind of causeway that had water to both sides. The concrete safeguards didn't seem like they would keep a car from diving into the icy cold water on the sides.

So I started thinking random thoughts. What if I lost control in the snow and careened to my doom? How fast would the car sink?

My immediate reaction would be to try to open the window. I heard that when your car is sinking, the pressure of the water on the car will keep the doors from opening. But then, I thought, with electric windows, they probably would have shorted out when the electrical system took a swim.

So how much time did I have? Would I be able to unbuckle my seatbelt fast enough? What about my PSP?

I figure if the car sinks slowly, I would try to incredible-hulk the sunroof open before the entire car gets engulfed, but I have a feeling a car only stays above water for a very short time. I dunno why, but I think 2,500 pounds of metal would sink pretty fast. I doubt the air in the tires are enough to keep that much weight afloat.

I've also heard that since the doors don't open because of the outside pressure, you could wait for the car to fill up with water, hold your breath and open the door. I don't know if it works, and really, this doesn't go with the flow of my story, but in case this ever happens to anyone, I don't want that person's last thought to be "Wait, what did Allen say about escaping from a sinking car? Oh, that's right, he skipped it."

Regardless of the solution, I switched over to the thoughts of what I would do afterward. In the current situation with the heavy snowfall, there was no one on the road with me. If I somehow swam to land without freezing to death, what would I do next?

My cellphone would have shorted out, my clothes completely wet and the temperature at least below freezing (the snow was sticking). Would I die of hypothermia before another car came? If a car came, would they see me long enough to realize I'm completely drenched and not near a car? Let's say they did see me but only called the cops to let them know I was out there, would I freeze before the cop came?

If they did stop, would they be kind enough to let a muddy marsh water soaked man get into their car in order to warm up? Would I have to jump on the hood of their car and hope the heat from the engine keeps me warm until the cops came? Would me jumping on the hood of their car scare the shit out of them?

What's the next step after that? I get sent to the hospital. I don't have a car and I'm almost dead from hypothermia.

The worst part is, I wouldn't be able to contact someone to help me. Everyone's phone number is on my dead cellphone.

I haven't memorized a phone number since 1997.

Appreciate A Dragon Day, January 16th

In lieu of Martin Luther King Jr Day, let us prepare for another great holiday. According to this little website of obscure holidays, tomorrow is Appreciate a Dragon Day.

How did this holiday come about? I'm sure enough crazy people got together and proclaimed that it was, so therefore it must. Probably the same people who wanted national answer your cat's questions day and bubble wrap appreciation day.

On a random tangent, I almost spelled "in lieu of" as "in loo of". I knew it looked wrong, and I used Google to double check. Do you know how many wannabe professional blogs and article writers out there are using "in loo of"? Thank god I found this page which explains commonly misused/misspelled phrases.

I would like today to be National Don't Fuck Up the Spelling of Lieu Day... In lieu of Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

School again? I must be out of my mind

On a whim, I decided to apply to New York University. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to school, but my work does have a school reimbursement program, so I thought I'd take advantage of it. I decided that if I got in, I would go, and if I didn't get in, I would wait a couple years and really decide on a career direction.

An email came in last Friday. It said I got into NYU and that classes started on the 16th. An acceptance packet is on it's way. So that meant they expected me to figure out what I was suppose to be doing within 11 days of telling me I got accepted.

It was an awkward moment of accomplishment. I was happy I got in, but terrified I got in. Grad school yay! oh shit, grad school.

There's so much stuff to do now. Student loans, yuck, I have to fill out a FAFSA again, I didn't think I'd ever do that again. What classes do I want? Do I have the money to cover expenses if I don't get loans? Who do I talk to? Where do I go.

So many questions.

Taxi Cab versus Bicyclist

There was a metal thunk sound, the kind of sound you'd hear if a baseball was thrown at the side of a car. We all turned around at the same time to see a guy on a bike topple over. He hit the driver side of the taxi, or rather, more likely, the taxi cab turned left and cut off the bike.

Because the cab was turning left, the bike ended up between the two driver wheels. If the cab would have stopped right there, everything would have been fine. The biker would have gotten up on his feet, cursed out the taxi cab driver and continued on with his life.

The taxi didn't stop though. It kept turning. Sounds of crunching metal filled the air, followed by a scream from the cyclist. He was trapped under the bike trapped under the car. The rear wheel was at least a foot off the ground as it reach the apex of this bicycle and rider lump on the ground.

The wheel cleared, the taxi cab scooted forward, only stopping when a handful of people ran into the intersection to check on the guy.

Leading the pack was our QA manager at Right Media. He sprinted over like a good Samaritan and stopped traffic for the poor cyclist laying on the street. He also called 911.

After about five really awkward minutes. Minutes that really showed the true variety of souls in Manhattan. The nice people ran forward, setting up a body-like road block on the road, making sure the guy was ok and doing their best to redirect traffic. The opposite end of the spectrum had people annoyed that their walking lane was blocked by this guy who obviously wasn't dead, so should have moved himself out of the way of their oh-so-busy-lives.

And then you had people in the middle like me, who just stood and watched it all unfold. It's like watching a TV show that'll never play again. You just try to absorb as much details as possible.

The guy was totally fine. After those five minutes, two people helped the cyclist up. He seemed to be able to walk with both feet. His bike was nothing more than a crumpled set of pipes and chains.

I bet he appreciates his feet a lot more after today.