The Truth about Cats and Dogs
Why do cat lovers always say that cats are low maintenance and that they're way easier to take care of than dogs? Do those people actually own cats or do they just watch commercials of the furry little fucks with little silk leashes that have little tiny bells purring next to their owners?
Have you ever smelled cat piss? It smells worse than dog shit. It can't be cleaned. It destroys everything it touches. Have you ever seen a male cat mark its territory? It sprays piss all over the place. Oh, but cats use litter boxes, they're so clean. You've never seen a cat fling kitty litter all over the fuckin place just so it finds just the right spot to pee in. How is that easier to deal with than a dog?
Cats shed all over the place. Not only do they shed, they attempt to groom themselves and swallow all the fur that would have been shed all nice and dry on the floor but instead puke it up in a nice sloppy pile that looks like dog shit. Then they just walk away like nothing ever happened. Fuck you cat, at least a dog has the common decency to feel guilty. Oh they feel guilty alright, they run the fuck away and hide in a corner.
Cats fuck everything up with their claws. They claw rugs, furniture, and anything they can get their hands on. They never claw the things they're suppose to.
Now puppies on the other hand, they're also a fuckin nightmare. They have no bladder or bowel control, they just go whenever they need to go. Sure, they have a concept of shitting in the place you want them to, but they're so retarded that they don't realize they have to go until they go on your chest as you're hugging them. They bite things because they're teething, they rough shit up because they're learning to be dogs. I hate puppies, nobody should suffer that much for those adorable lumps of pure joy. But in the end, that's really no worse than kittens.
So with all the shedding, pissing, fur ball hacking and furniture destruction, how can you say a dog is more maintenance? If anything, they're about the same.
Dogs do nothing wrong. After the puppy stage, a dog will hold its piss for 20 hours. It will refuse to go anywhere in the house that it has learned is it's home. It rather suffer with a full bladder than pee where it sleeps. Dog piss smells way better than cat piss. It will also do the same with shit. It will learn to chew only things you give it to chew. It might occasionally slobber, depending on what kind of dog you have.
Dogs love everyone because, like their owners, they're giving something away that's free to give away to make people happy. Cat's only love their owners, and like their owners, they selfishly want to keep that person for themselves.
This all being said, I love both cats and dogs. I'd clean up after any animal because it's not a big deal. So what if your entire house smells like cat piss and so what if your dog climbed the table and ate six servings of fillet mignon. It's cat OWNERS that I hate. They think their pets are so superior, and they're not. Dogs are obviously superior. Dog owners are incredible. There's no Cat Whisperer on TV is there? No, only a Dog Whisperer.
Fuck you and fuck your cat.
Have you ever smelled cat piss? It smells worse than dog shit. It can't be cleaned. It destroys everything it touches. Have you ever seen a male cat mark its territory? It sprays piss all over the place. Oh, but cats use litter boxes, they're so clean. You've never seen a cat fling kitty litter all over the fuckin place just so it finds just the right spot to pee in. How is that easier to deal with than a dog?
Cats shed all over the place. Not only do they shed, they attempt to groom themselves and swallow all the fur that would have been shed all nice and dry on the floor but instead puke it up in a nice sloppy pile that looks like dog shit. Then they just walk away like nothing ever happened. Fuck you cat, at least a dog has the common decency to feel guilty. Oh they feel guilty alright, they run the fuck away and hide in a corner.
Cats fuck everything up with their claws. They claw rugs, furniture, and anything they can get their hands on. They never claw the things they're suppose to.
Now puppies on the other hand, they're also a fuckin nightmare. They have no bladder or bowel control, they just go whenever they need to go. Sure, they have a concept of shitting in the place you want them to, but they're so retarded that they don't realize they have to go until they go on your chest as you're hugging them. They bite things because they're teething, they rough shit up because they're learning to be dogs. I hate puppies, nobody should suffer that much for those adorable lumps of pure joy. But in the end, that's really no worse than kittens.
So with all the shedding, pissing, fur ball hacking and furniture destruction, how can you say a dog is more maintenance? If anything, they're about the same.
Dogs do nothing wrong. After the puppy stage, a dog will hold its piss for 20 hours. It will refuse to go anywhere in the house that it has learned is it's home. It rather suffer with a full bladder than pee where it sleeps. Dog piss smells way better than cat piss. It will also do the same with shit. It will learn to chew only things you give it to chew. It might occasionally slobber, depending on what kind of dog you have.
Dogs love everyone because, like their owners, they're giving something away that's free to give away to make people happy. Cat's only love their owners, and like their owners, they selfishly want to keep that person for themselves.
This all being said, I love both cats and dogs. I'd clean up after any animal because it's not a big deal. So what if your entire house smells like cat piss and so what if your dog climbed the table and ate six servings of fillet mignon. It's cat OWNERS that I hate. They think their pets are so superior, and they're not. Dogs are obviously superior. Dog owners are incredible. There's no Cat Whisperer on TV is there? No, only a Dog Whisperer.
Fuck you and fuck your cat.
posted by Allen M @ 10/02/2007 01:12:00 AM
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