What would Jack Bauer do?

Last night while driving in a heavy snow flurry with a light white coating of powder car death covering the highway, I realized I was driving over either a bridge or some kind of causeway that had water to both sides. The concrete safeguards didn't seem like they would keep a car from diving into the icy cold water on the sides.

So I started thinking random thoughts. What if I lost control in the snow and careened to my doom? How fast would the car sink?

My immediate reaction would be to try to open the window. I heard that when your car is sinking, the pressure of the water on the car will keep the doors from opening. But then, I thought, with electric windows, they probably would have shorted out when the electrical system took a swim.

So how much time did I have? Would I be able to unbuckle my seatbelt fast enough? What about my PSP?

I figure if the car sinks slowly, I would try to incredible-hulk the sunroof open before the entire car gets engulfed, but I have a feeling a car only stays above water for a very short time. I dunno why, but I think 2,500 pounds of metal would sink pretty fast. I doubt the air in the tires are enough to keep that much weight afloat.

I've also heard that since the doors don't open because of the outside pressure, you could wait for the car to fill up with water, hold your breath and open the door. I don't know if it works, and really, this doesn't go with the flow of my story, but in case this ever happens to anyone, I don't want that person's last thought to be "Wait, what did Allen say about escaping from a sinking car? Oh, that's right, he skipped it."

Regardless of the solution, I switched over to the thoughts of what I would do afterward. In the current situation with the heavy snowfall, there was no one on the road with me. If I somehow swam to land without freezing to death, what would I do next?

My cellphone would have shorted out, my clothes completely wet and the temperature at least below freezing (the snow was sticking). Would I die of hypothermia before another car came? If a car came, would they see me long enough to realize I'm completely drenched and not near a car? Let's say they did see me but only called the cops to let them know I was out there, would I freeze before the cop came?

If they did stop, would they be kind enough to let a muddy marsh water soaked man get into their car in order to warm up? Would I have to jump on the hood of their car and hope the heat from the engine keeps me warm until the cops came? Would me jumping on the hood of their car scare the shit out of them?

What's the next step after that? I get sent to the hospital. I don't have a car and I'm almost dead from hypothermia.

The worst part is, I wouldn't be able to contact someone to help me. Everyone's phone number is on my dead cellphone.

I haven't memorized a phone number since 1997.