Flashbacks

Everyone has bad memories of when they made mistakes when they were young. It's not really something to be ashamed of right? They were learning experiences. Sometimes things work, and sometimes they don't.

Sometimes I get these terribly real flashbacks. I get taken back to a moment where people are laughing at me or completely silent after I did something. I'm back at the awkward moment with a girl or heck, an awkward moment with a guy. I'm back skidding on the road, watching a tree rushing toward my car. I'm lost somewhere, too prideful to ask for directions.


These moments make me cringe. It feels like it takes forever to get the thoughts cleared out of my mind, though in reality, it's probably only a couple seconds. Sometimes it feels like a self induced brainfreeze. I just clutch my head and squeeze, waiting for the moment to pass.

It's weird. The moments mostly aren't that big a deal. Maybe it's just that I don't like being back there. Maybe its' good to be reminded every once in a while. I just wish that when they come to mind, it wasn't so violent.

But maybe that's just my own reaction to an embarrassing moment.

I blogged her mom and devil babies came.

I can officially say that my five dollar Hot Topics "I Blogged Your Mom" shirt gets girls. My co-workers and I went to an Uno's--a restaurant I've never been to before--where we began to discuss what we wanted to eat. The waitress comes up to our table and says "I Blogged Your Mom? That's funny."

Which I promptly said to her, "Because it's true."

She gave my shirt two points for originality, and well, I thought that was the end of it. Instead, whenever she stopped by, she decided to engage us in personal conversation. She even got mad at one person for not eating and continued to ridicule him throughout the night. I have to admit, she had some really good lines. It was entertaining.

When you brought back our drinks order, she had a disconcerting look on her face. Apparently some baby or fake baby or toy that might be a baby or maybe it really was a baby was making noises that might have been crying. To her, the noises weren't normal though, so it had to be some kind of demon baby. She told us all this, we didn't know how to respond.

I enjoyed that she confided in us so quickly. We must have developed a very close bond in the five minutes that passed between her commenting on my shirt, and her returning with our drinks.

Why us though? Was it just random? Was she crazy? Was she just a really friendly girl, a mastermind of social waitressing (much like how the girls at hooters are taught to touch customers and sit at their table while taking orders)? Did somehow my shirt and initial conversation let her gauge that we were the type of people she might be friends with?

What other powers does this magical shirt have? Do you believe my fancy "I Blogged Your Mom" shirt could have the power to get girls?

Because it's true.

The Underground Seamstresses

Seattle was built by stupid whores. Not my opinion, this is what the tourguide told me during our walk through the underground.

Apparently alot of women were selling their bodies. The city wanted to collect taxes for them, and made them all seamstresses in the tax books. I'm not sure if a real seamstress could have afforded 10 dollars a day back then. Probably turned all of them in to prostitutes.

It didn't stop raining in Seattle for 4 days straight. When I checked the news after getting back to the east coast, apparently all of the pacific north west was begining to flood.

Seattle has a sci-fi museum. I didn't realize people cared.

They also have these little wooden cottages where they sell all sorts of expresso products like Starbucks. They are all staffed by relatively hot women, some who where really skimpy skirts. I swear they have code though, and if you order the right combonation of products, or tip a certain amount, they turn into hookers for 15 minutes and you get your expresso served without a cup.

A city filled with whores is a great thing.