My Roomate's Stuff Is Better Than Yours

I finally feel fully out of my old place. Jesse was living at our new place for a couple weeks before I fully moved my stuff over. I'm still sort of unpacking my stuff. I know the move was only half a block away, but when you just throw all your shit into a bunch of hefty bags, you kinda have to sort everything out.

On top of all the reasons for wanting to leave my old place, there's a whole bunch of other reasons. One of which is Jesse's stuff.

I have so many things now. Plates and cups and silverware. It's so wonderful. We actually cook food. Food is so good. I love food. I wouldn't eat anything else besides food.

And the toys. Xbox 360, a 62 inch wide screen HDTV, a modded xbox, a crazy wireless network, and so many games and movies, and REAL dvds!

Let's not forget things like a lazyboy sofa that's so sofa and so lazy. You lie down and never want to get up. And why would you want to get up with that big ass 62 inch tv in front of your face playing awesome xbox 360 games.

He has a table... WITH chairs. That's fuckin amazing. I've never seen a table before. I've never had the luxury of having a table and chairs that matched it.

You don't have these things. You're not as cool as me. And sorry, you can't have my roomate, I called dibs on him from the moment I submitted his resume to my company.

Go get your own TV, bitch.