Quitting Cold Turkey

I've finally decided to give it up. I've been doin it for a long time, and you know what, it's just not worth it anymore.

All my friends hate it. They all want me to stop. I think paul is the only one who doesn't really care, but then again, he does it too. I'm always convincing people that it's not an issue. But they tell me it tastes like shit, and to just get it away from them. Some people don't even know why I bother, the thought of it just makes them sick.

There's so many different kinds too and I've tried them all. I don't think there's any particular brand that I hate, but I definately do have my preferences. Sure, new types will come out, and I'll probably succumb and try them, but for now, I have to take a stand.

I just don't think it's good for me anymore. I can feel myself getting unhealthier because of it.

That's right, buddies, I'm finally gonna quit!

Not drinking diet soda anymore.

Oopsy

This job is great because we are allowed to use AIM to communicate. In my genius, I decided to use my personal AIM screen name as my work screen name.

I leave my computer on at home 24/7, and when it's on, AIM is on with an away message that has my blog's link. When I sign off aim at work, the people still here then see me still online with an away message up. Anyone who im's me is rewarded with an away message reply to my blog.

Apparently my blog is now making it's way around work. People keep telling me that they read my blog. The implications are scary.

I don't deny that some of my blog entries are offensive. I also don't think I need to be scared or apologetic for the opinions expressed within this blog. This blog is a work of fiction, the actual characters in here are fake, falsified and overly exaggerated.

The main character of this blog is me, but the fictional me. In fact, i'm not even really typing right now. I have a ghost writer, I pay him to write blog entries for me. Remind me to fire him for being a racist, sexist, arrogant asshole. He doesn't even update that often.

So why should I be scared of this fake blog that's not really even written by me? No way would I ever dared be so blunt and offensive toward others. It's a crime against humanity.

In fact, I don't even know who linked it on my aim, I don't even use aim. That's not even my real screen name.

If you're from work and you accidently stumble across this blog, it isn't mine.

Someone's stealing my identity.

But It's My Money

If you're fortunate enough to be as cool as me, your company uses Flex Pay (Flexable Spending Account). It's a system where you can store away a portion of your salary into a pre-taxed account. That money can then be used for daily expenses like parking and transporation. Since the money is being taken away before you actually get your paycheck, you end up getting taxed for a smaller amount.

The system is nice because you get a credit card with the money that you asked to be transfered. This makes things very easy when you're recharing your metro card or paying off your monthly parking bill. But things are never easy.

My FSA card was rejected every time I've tried to use it. No worries, I can get reimbursed for items that I should be able to flexpay, even if I don't use their designated card. That's smart.

I'm smart for keeping my receipts. I figured there would be a way to get this money, and there is. All you have to do is fill out a form, attach your receipts, and fax it.

Except, I didn't know where to download the form. The flexpay site itself wouldn't let me log in. Luckily right media's HR had the needed file. I filled it out. How do you attach receipts to a fax? I decided to photocopy the receipts and then just send that.

Our department just moved to the 7th floor, so we don't have luxuries like a photocopier yet. I took a trip upstairs, remembering that there was a photocopy machine near my desk.

They changed alot of things up there. There are people sitting in places where people I knew used to sit. I don't know these people and they're wondering why i'm wandering around with 3 receipts in my hands. The photocopier isn't where I remembered it was. I ask the people, and they point me to it. I go over there and insert my little pieces of paper. There is a password on the photocopier. People are lookin at me like I should know what i'm doing. I walk back over to HR and ask them how to use the photo copy machine.

As a tech person, a comp sci major, and a master of trying to print out 20 sets of 8 page papers for class last minute, this is an embarrassing question. Their reply? Just go use the OTHER copy machine.

Oh. Where's that?

So I finally printed my receipts and went back downstairs where the next task would be to fax everything.

Maybe it's just me, but it always takes me a couple minutes to figure out how to use a fax machine. I never know which way to insert the papers, and I always seem to dial wrong. This particular fax machine didn't help me out at all.

Most business fax machines are silent. They don't make noise because well, they're fuckin noisy. I guess the settings haven't been adjusted yet since we got all new equipment, but every button I pushed, it beeped.

So the fax machine is on the other side of my floor, where the network and support guys are. They're pretty quiet, and here I am, beeping away. The fax machine broadcasts a loud ringtone, dials every number, and beeps like a fuckin baud modem trying to dial into AOL.

Then it fails.

So I have to do it again.

It shouldn't be this hard to get my own money back.