Missed It By A Day

When I have an agenda, I like to follow through on it. When I don't get to follow through on it, it bothers me. If it bothers me enough, I'll go to extreme lengths in order to accomplish it. When I don't get to accomplish it because of someone else, then all my wrath gets channeled to that person and anyone else who even comes close to me.

I want to watch Underworld: Evolution. I planned to see it opening night. I got a call in the afternoon from a person who shall remain anonymous saying that they needed a ride to get stuff. Ok, i'm a nice guy, i'm willing to help. When we were in the middle of doing what they needed done, I mentioned that I was going to watch Underworld and welcomed them to come along with me. They said they didn't feel like watching it, so I said that when we were done doing what they needed done, I was going to leave and find someone who would go with me.

They said that if I waited until tomorrow, they would go with me. That sounded fine, I could wait a day. I didn't yet commit to watching it with anyone else, and a day is just a day. How much could 24 hours of waiting hurt?

Well, the time passed, and I made the call to invite the person out with me to watch the movie. They said they were in the middle of something, and said that afterward, they promised to show some of their other friends around. Oh well, I said bye and went to call the other people.

Call 1: Hi, yea, i already watched it. Oh, and don't bother making call 2 because I saw them there at the movie theatre watching it too.

Call 3: Fuck you, i'm sick, thanks for being sympathetic of my sickness instead of trying to drag me out of bed to watch a fuckin movie.

It's amazing how much 24 hours could make. So now my window to complete the agenda easily has passed. I might not even be able to complete it anymore. And you know, I can't be truly mad at said anonymous person for keeping me from waiting, after all, it was my call to wait. I can though, be disappointed at this nameless person for saying they would do something and not following through. I get really annoyed at people who don't keep their word. And I despise them if them not keeping their word makes it so that I can't complete my agenda.

So the important lesson I learned is that when I have an agenda, I shouldn't put it off because of someone else. Why should I bother squeezing people into my schedule and agenda when they can't do the same back? That's it. No more.

It may sound like a small thing to get riled up over, and maybe this is just blown out of proportion because of my rage and anger at the moment, but it's not the event itself that pisses me off, it's the principle.

I'm gonna walk my own fuckin line. No more fuckin detours.

Another day, another year

The clock struck midnight and I said Happy New Year to the three or so people who were actually online. Then I opened a book, and read until I fell asleep.

Don't get me wrong, I tried to whole celebration thing.

Terry picked me up at 7 pm and we went over to some girl's house for a party. There were five of us, and I figure since a girl is hosting the party, we must be supplying the guys. We arrive and she's there with three other guys. Eight guys, one girl. A girl's dream come true, a guy's worst nightmare. There were better ratios at parties back at Drexel.

It was early though and Asian people seldom show up on time. I decided to give it some time. And then my head started hurting.

At 10:30, three more girls showed up, followed by two more guys. Ten to four, getting closer to Drexel ratios. It wasn't what I expected, but some of the fellows made conversation.

At some point, one of the girls asked how old we were. I was the oldest at 23, while the others said 21 and 22. We asked how old she was, and she said 17, but almost 18, like the "almost" part made some kind of significance. She then said the others were 16.

My head really started to hurt. The two guys that followed the three girls set up a laptop with logitech speakers, and the one guy started queueing up the winamp list like he was some kind of high tech DJ. No offense to him, since I give him props for wanting to set up some kind of music to break up the dullness of the whole thing, but logitech speakers aren't made to be turned up to eleven.

If you ever have a headache, put your head in a cardboard box filled with marbles, and shake it while some girl screams dance/house lyrics into your ear. That's me. Twenty-three and already crying like an old geezer.

At 11, Tony went to go pick up another one of our friends. I pretended to go with him, got into my car, and drove straight home.

Sure, the headache, loud music, and underaged girls are probably all excuses to the ultimate underlying truth in the whole matter: I'm just fuckin anti-social. I can admit that. To some degree I am.

Maybe I'm just done new years though. Did it so many times before. I've woken with hangovers, remembered hugging toilets, did all the drinking games, counted all the countdowns, and screamed HAPPY NEW YEAR many times already. Maybe this year, New Years was just another day.

And this is the beginning of just another year.