Taiwan Day 15... i think.

In the two weeks I've been here, I think i have to take back what I said in my first taiwan post about how I hate the girls here. I think I said that without seeing enough of the women here. While it is true that the girls who dress in big baggy clothes do exist, there numbers have dwindled in the five years that I have not been here. They are being replaced by short skirt, tank-top wearing, hair look-so-good and face caked with makeup type of girls that are so very very nice. Nicer then baggy clothes conservative hag-face, at least.

I went to TAIPEI 101, apparently the world's tallest building. It was pretty tall. What was amazing about the place wasn't the fact that the building was so tall, but that all the employees spoke english. When we got to the top floor, we were allowed to get this audio tour guide device, and I saw that they had them in english. So I asked for an english one in mandarin, cuz well, they were chinese like me. So then they replied back to me in english, and I just got so confused.

I've never really been good at transitioning between the two languages. When people ask me "how do you say *whatever* in chinese?" I can never answer them. Same thing vice versa. Basically, I have a chinese language mode, and an english language mode. I can't do both at the same time. If i'm expecting to hear chinese, but hear english, it takes me a good while to register and comprehend what was said.

So this weekend was the Lunar Moon Festival or whatever. I actually don't know what the holiday is called in english. It's like 4th of july. Lots of barbeques, some fireworks, and moon cakes. Mooncakes everywhere.

A couple days ago, I rode the bus by myself. Yea, I know, i sound retarded saying that, but in taiwan, I might as well be a retard. I can't read signs or anything. So when my cousin called me and told me to meet up with her at the subway station, i considered it a challenge.

So i walked to the bus stop, looked at all the pretty numbers on the signs telling which bus went to where.. and... promptly turned around and asked the only other guy standing at the bus stop which bus i should take.

I could tell he wanted to laugh. I don't think he really understood the question until I explained to him that I was from america and couldn't really read. I think that just made him want to laugh more. So he simply said that alot of the buses would get me where I wanted to go. I didn't really understand what he meant. I wanted a bus number, and he gave me a sweeping generalization. But since I didn't know how to say "sweeping generalization" in chinese, I decided that yelling at my only hope of getting on a bus was not a good idea.

So I just said Oh, and stood around. When a bus stopped to pick someone up, I'd ask the driver if his bus would get me there. After about 10 minutes, a bus finally stopped, and the guy that I asked earlier pointed at it and said I could get on that one.

Oh, but it's not over yet. After getting on the bus, I realized that I couldn't read the subway stations name in chinese, and I wouldn't recognize that area at all if we passed it.

Since i was on the bus yesterday with my cousin going to the same subway station, I kinda just waited until I felt like the bus stop to get off was getting close. Then I turned around and asked the same guy from earlier if my stop was getting close. Yea, he wanted to laugh again, but he held it in. When the stop came, he pointed and told me this was it. I thanked him, and got off. I swear I saw him laugh.

Nothing more humbling than a 16 year old boy wanting to laugh at a college graduate.

Taiwan Day 11

It's still too hot here. I know, I know, I complain about the heat too much, but seriously, you don't notice the heat as much in the US when the sum of your exposure includes walking from an air conditioned building to your air conditioned car, and then from your air conditioned car to another air conditioned building. In taiwan the air conditioning in most public places is set to like 78 degrees, with the front of the building exposed to the humid, steaming air outside. It's fake air conditioning. I guess to a taiwan person, 78 is crispy cold. To me, it's what the air outside should be while the air conditioner is on inside.

Being in Taiwan is just depressing on so many levels. Besides the heat, my utter lack of skill in the chinese language is just magnified while on this dreadful island. I can't read, I can't write, and I speak the language at less than a fifth grade level. Yea, that's right. Twelve year olds use words here that I never learned. Every time I come to taiwan, I say i want to learn to read and write, but it never happens. I figure now that I graduated college, I really don't have an excuse anymore.

The one good thing I have learned in Taiwan is what I want in a girl. Seeing the girls here, I think I finally know what I want. If learning to read and speak chinese better helps me achieve that goal, then it will be a skill worth learning, since it represents a future lifetime together with some person. But they damn better want to move to america.

I don't think I could live here, even if I could read and speak perfectly. The heat is just too much. Not even that, but the highways here suck. They move agonizingly slow, most people drive at 60 km/h, which is like... oh.. 35 miles an hour. I could never live like that after speeding down the coast of california at well over 40.

I dunno if i can make 5 weeks here. I'm too humbled here. Too stupid. Too melty in the heat. Oh well, we shall see.

Taiwan Day 7

It's been a week in taiwan, and it's been pretty good. I think the only thing more annoying than the 300% humidity because of the passing Typhoon is the fact that Blogger is smart enough to translate everyone to chinese. I can't read chinese. So i'm here typing english, and trying to remember which button is "publish". Annoying.

I really hate the girls here. Asian girls need to know that dressing in men's clothing isn't sexy. Baggy clothes isn't sexy. You look like a man. An ugly man. Don't be afraid to show your bodies, even if you're a little fat. And i mean, come on, asian girls don't get fat.. they think fat is adding another pound and a half to their 75 pound frames.

I met one lady here so far that salvaged my opinion of all taiwan girls i've seen so far. She's not even the prettiest girl i've ever seen. Actually, she's quite mediocre. It was her her personality, the way she acted. She exuded womanlyness in her movements, actions and words.

My cousin and I went to some cafe, which in itself was a fun place. You just ordered drinks, and they had cards, board games, magazines, and manga comic books all there for you to read. The lady is the manager there and she came over and yelled at my cousin and his friends for not showing up for over a week. I'm guessing they go alot. But it was just the way she was kinda flirty with everyone, but yet, at the same time, showed strength as a woman. She wasn't some shy passive bitch who was being curtious. She wasn't flirty in the way in which they were like, oh yea, she sweats me. She was more like, why haven't you fuckers come here in over a week? You guys don't have to all come together, you can come see me by yourselves. I thought we were better friends than that. Whatever, fuckin order your drinks now!

Sexy mama.

Yea, obviously it's a bad translation, and the tone of her voice can't be relayed over the internet. It was one of those things... you had to be there. I bet paul would have loved her.

I dunno how old she was though. I was under the impression that she owned the place, so i'm thinkin mid to late 20's. I really liked that place though, hope we go back again soon.

I'm gonna go find some airconditioning now. This internet cafe seriously needs an AC upgrade.