Family Ties

I went home to Jersey yesterday and I was staring at this picture in our living room that my mom has. It's an old black and white photo of my mom and all her sisters from when they were very very young. I thought about how my mom always tells me about how this person and that person is like a second mom or dad to me. How they always treat me as if I were there own child.

Then it clicked. It was always there, always on the surface, but I don't know why looking at that picture at that moment made it all make sense.

Not to go into too many details about my family life, but my mom was not raised by her real mom and dad. She was raised by a friend of the family, and to her, they are more real, more substatial parents than her real ones. These are the people that loved her like she was their own daughter, cared for her, invested time and money into raising her along with their own children.

So when my mom tells me she sees how this person treats me well, she really means it. From all her personal experience, from all her hardships, she finds great joy and comfort from the fact that there are people out there who are selfless. She recognizes them, and wants to make sure that I know and appreciate them, because she went through hell, and became blessed because of those two people who raised her. Those people that I call grandma and grandpa, even though I have no blood relation to them.

And really, my mom has instilled this way of thinking into me from a very young age. My god parents have always treated me like their own son, and really, they are truly like a second set of parents. My god father is probably more like a father to me than my real father. But that's the easy one to identify.

The harder ones are the ones that might be taken for granted, that I probably would have taken for granted if not for a mother who put such emphasis on family being more than just blood relatives. I'm talkin about people like Jim's mom, who I jokingly call second mom and she calls me her second son, but given some thought, I probably mean it more than I appear to. She's taught me so much about life, given me so much wisdom on the way people work, given me advice on things that I couldn't ask my real mom. She's always there for me, and always bright and cheerful whenever she sees me.

And then there's Brian T's parents, who let me live in their house for six months while I was on co-op. Mrs. T cooked for me, picked up after me, and always offered to wash my laundry, though I insisted I didn't want to be a bother. But seriously, going to Brian's house is like going home. They made it feel like home, like family for me, and whenever I go down to visit, I still feel like i'm going home to my family.

There's so many others out there that are like that. I'd probably have to write ten more pages to identify everyone. But I'm just going to leave it here. It's just a realization that I've come to, one that was always there within the fundamentals of the way I was brought up, and what my mom taught me, but it really has never been identified and written in words. Looking at that picture with my mom and her family, I realized that even though I don't have any brothers or sisters, even though most of my uncles and aunts are back in Taiwan, I'm not without family. Everywhere I go, someone treats me like family. They may not be blood related, but in the end, through thick and thin, through hardship and struggle, when I really need them, they'll be there. All my friends are my brothers and sisters, and all their parents have been like mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts to me.

I love them all because I love having family.

I was gonna post about other things

The following was posted as a comment to my post below:

But that's you. Your intentions are good but you have the tendency to beat it into someone that your point of view is right and not the fact that you're trying to convey a different perspective. You'd save a lot of time spent on argueing if you'd just open with "Well someone else could think...." rather than "But you're wrong."

Though the post is anonymous, there's only a few people who would dare say this to me, so it makes me all the more happier to tear them apart, piece by piece by annoying piece.

First of all, the post below is already about how I "beat it into someone" that my "point of view" is right. So, the first line of your comment is useless and repeats information already given. Don't tell me things I already know, and don't try to make yourself seem like you know me because you can repeat information that I have already reflected about myself.

Your second line is nothing more than an attempt to get me to be diplomatic about my statements and soften my message while retaining the meaning. Obviously, if this post hasn't shown it, i'm pretty blunt.

Rather, it sounds to me like the above poster has a pride issue when accused of being "wrong". Obviously, the person knows me well enough to be able to give me an alternative way of saying what i want to say. So why then, when this person knows my intent to begin with, does that person want me to change the way I say it?

In terms of other people, it's pretty relevent that it's irrelevant how they feel when I tell them they're wrong. Plus, i'm really not saving "time spent on arguing" because the few who would dare post such a comment like above ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO ARGUE BACK. And as for potential backlashing, bad opinions, or talk behind my back, I don't care. Those who aren't brave enough to confront me are just showing their weakness and their fear of knowing they'll be eaten alive by me. I scoff at those people and their insignificance.

Those that matter stay at my side, and will always stay at my side, no matter the consequences and reprecussions of their decision to do so.

Thirdly, it's rather offensive that someone would take it upon themselves to post a comment with their views and opinions on a blog post that's about not imposing views and opinions on people anymore. Did you read?

Lastly, and I don't even know why I have to defend myself on this, but I will. The first line of the post below was meant as a joke. I mean, though obviously I'm always right and everyone is always wrong, it was meant as recognition that I feel that way, and segues into my awesome post about openmindedness. (Note: I am using the same tactic again, if you haven't realized that by now)

So, a few reasons why I retaliated. 1) You hid behind anonymity. This allows me to attack you without embarrassing you publicly. 2) You actually thought your two cents was important enough to post. 3) You really said nothing important and didn't provide any revelation. 4) You displayed a lack of comprehension for the intent of the post, which offended me and made you need to be schooled.

But, thank you for providing fodder for my blog. It has been lacking lately.

And, close your mouth before your jaw hits the keyboard and you drool all over your pants.