Black Friday is the greatest worst day

Thursday night, after seeing Alexander the Great, which was literally the GAYEST movie I have ever seen in my life(like greek boy buttsex gay), we decided to stay up and wait for black friday goodness. I didn't realize it, but instead of going home and chillin and talkin, we should have headed straight for best buy.

By the time we got there at like 4:30 am, the lines were already so long that they had wrapped along the building, around the parking lot, and out into the main street which had to be at least 150 yards away. We agreed that it wasn't worth it anymore. Plus, we looked through the best buy fliers beforehand and there didn't seem to be any bargains that were that super.

Then we checked out staples' line and it had like 20 people in it. I walked by and basically indirectly mocked everyone for wanting to get paperclips at the lowest price possible.

We went out to breakfast and my other friends just passed out. I, being the nocturnal person that I am, decided to head back to best buy, hoping that the lines would be shorter. Nope. Wrong. So after getting in touch with my other friend, I went to staples, singing about paper clips all the way.

Staples sucked. And in order to not drag this blog along, it's not worth talking about more then that. Staples, you suck (on black friday).

The lines at Best Buy finally died down and I managed to get in after a 15 minute wait outside in the died down line. I had no idea that on black friday, best buy sets up the store line a maze. You're not allowed to go anywhere that you want, you have to follow this pre-laid path that the best buy SS troops laid out for you.

So finally I make it to the video game section, and I was looking for a good black friday deal on Nintendo Game Cubes. There wasn't a black friday deal persay, but they did have a good GC package deal. The console with Mario Kart and two controllers. The normal package is only the system and a controller. So I pretty much looked at it like I was paying for my first game and second controller (things you usually have to buy on top of buying the console). Mario Kart is still a 45 dollar game used and a controller is I think 25. So really, I got the console for 30 bucks.

Well, the lines were too long, the system wasn't a black friday deal, and best buy had about a tower of 60 of them. I decided to just come back later.

Off to the mall we went where I found out that Electronic's Boutique is doin there buy two used games get one free deal. I love EB. It was settle, I'd buy a GC before the night ended so I could buy games too.

We sat at the food court for a while, chatted more about douchebag friends, life in general, and other things. At 11 am, I headed back toward best buy. The lines were still freakin long as hell.

Went home, went to sleep, woke up, went back to best buy. At 6:30 pm, I still had to wait in line for 15 minutes before making it to a cash register, but I finally got my Nintendo Game Cube.

Now I am king of the consoles. I own all three systems. When I get some time to reorganize, i'll clean up my console system area and take a picture.

So you can all see my dream come true.

I'm fuckin old

I was clicking through xanga earlier, just testing to see what six degrees of seperation would lead me to. You know, you start with someone you know, click on a person who commented, go to their comments, click on a person who commented, and so on and so forth until you come up to something interesting.

Honestly, it's late, and I wasn't paying much attention. I just looked for names I didn't recognize and kept going like that. So after about five or six clicks, I come across this girl's webpage. In her pic she was adorably cute, like, pokemon cute, and I pretty much assumed she was young. I didn't know how young so I started to look for the little section where the vital stats, location and other contact info was. And then I saw it. Birthday: 1. 9. 9. 0. 1990.

Holy fuckin shit. THAT'S HOT.

I'm just kidding. No, seriously, I'm kidding. I don't need no stinkin FBI coming to my house and finding the other 14 year olds in my basement.

It's just a reality check though. I was surfing the web roughly about the same time this little girl started to learn how to walk. That's crazy. Now they're all grown up and surfing the same web space that I am.

So after that initial shock, I started reading some of her posts. I mean, i'm curious to see how 14 year olds talk these days. And honestly, she bored the fuck out of me. It was like stupid daily aim conversations that she thought was cute, and a summaries of her oh so dreadful 14 year old life: I got off the bus. I don't have a car. I stayed home. My friend's mom picked me up in her minivan. We went to the mall. We checked out boys. I spent my entire allowance. My poke-master put me back into the ball.

Noun, verb, object. Noun verb object. Seriously, she didn't even know how to make compound sentences.

A random post of random posts

I love my printer. For something that's at least 4-5 years old, it's still tried and true. It can print 20 pages documents in like a minute. I've also been spoiled by good quality paper. Back a year or so ago, i found these 500 packs of paper for like 2 for 4 bucks or something. I bought 4 of them. The paper is heavy and has a light gloss to it. It really makes the ink bright. The only paper I can compare it to is office paper. You know the same Xerox office paper that every company has, the ones they use for corporate meetings and stuff. It's good stuff.

School is really hard. I hate growing up.

Why is there always one fat girl in a group of girls? She's like the fucking cock blocking bodyguard of the group. You know that one girl that has eaten everything, including the souls of helpless guys that try to hit on her cute friends. She hates life. Her friends only hang out with her because they feel bad for her and because she makes the other girls look prettier. Of course it's true. If i stood next to a piece of shit, i'd smell great. That's right you fat ugly girl, you're just a piece of shit that makes other girls smell better. I hope you choke on a chicken bone.

See, i have no problem making fun of fat girls. That's something a person can change about about themselves without resorting to plastic surgery. So don't tell me it's messed up. I used to be fat, and recently, i've gotten fat again. But I know with a little exercise i'll be good again. SO GO JOG, FATTY. Go jog before you get so fat that your ankles break the first time you try to run.

Why is it, that some languages are so hot and some languages are just disgusting to listen to? Especially people that can speak other languages that they usually can't. Like if an asian girl busted out in german, I would fall helplessly for her. Or if any girl busted out in japanese. Then there are some languages that I can't stand to hear anyone speak. Cantonese, French, Vietnamese... and sometimes Korean depending on who speaks it. Some of those girls can get really whiney and annoying and the guys can sound like they're flaming metrosexuals.

I haven't wore khakis in a long time. I don't even remember what they look like on me.

Saturday at the club, i've never seen so many hot girls at one place. It was weird too, because I looked around the room and I realized that I could probably meet any of those girls there. It's possible that I am connected to them by at most 4 degrees of seperation. Except the black people. Probably connected to them through at least 5. Some of those black girls were kinda hot too.

Then there was that one fat white chick who dressed up like a trailer trash slut. She kinda just stood around the bar and hoped someone would talk to her. She was aching for a big black penis. Thankfully I'm not equipped to help her out. Though if i was equipped so, I would definately share my gift with all the girls that wanted to bounce on my mandingo pogo stick.

I hit a new low today.

Death by heater

The last week has been so sporatically cold that I thought I was going crazy. Some days I would wake up freezing, only to bundle up with a long sleeve shirt and a heavy jacket. Then I'd walk outside and the sun is blazing and i'm sweating to death. At night, it would be freezing again, and stupid me, i'm walking around with the jacket in my hand, still confused from earlier and not realizing I should put on the jacket.

My room has been so cold lately that I pulled out the space heater. I know you're saying "why not just use the normal heater?" Well, the heat in my room is weird. I think it only turns on when the heat from the hallway turns on. And well, I think we don't have that heater on. I think I turned it on at one point, but I think it only turns on if the heat in the living room turns on. Well, regardless, basically the heat isn't on enough and my room isn't as insulated as the rest of the house what with a back door right next to my bed and all.

Plus, the one heater unit is along the same wall where all my computer wires and power strips are. Fuck that, i'd rather freeze then have my computer melt or catch on fire.

So I use a space heater. It works really well. If i'm freezing, I turn the badboy on and in about 10 minutes, the whole place warms up all nice and toasty. It also has a dial where you can set to how warm you want to be, and it'll shut itself off after reaching that tempature.

The last few days, the nights have been really cold. I didn't realize this, so I slept with the heater off only to wake up with my fingers frostburnt. So last night, I turned on the space heater, hoping to stay warm throughout the night.

I woke up in the middle of night soaked in sweat. My space heater never clicked off. It was hotter in my room then those summer days with my broken air conditioner. Let's put it this way, it was so hot that I had to open the back door and let some cool air in before my brain or balls melted.

God damn it, I almost baked myself to death. And I really like both my heads.

Dear God: I suck.

So the doorbell rings this morning, god knows how early, probably like 12:30 pm or something. My head pops off the pillow and I think to myself, am I expecting a package? I couldn't think of anything, so I fall back asleep without getting the door. Of course, at 5 pm when I'm waking up, I realized that I was indeed waking for a package.

Walking out to my living room, I cringe as I open the door and see the yellow UPS "we missed you" slip stuck to the door. Package from: MTV-shop. It was my Halo 2 game. Damn it. I missed getting Halo 2 and playing it with everyone else. I hope you're all enjoying Halo 2.

It's been kind of weird lately, I've been put into situations with people who don't speak chinese and having to speak the language to them. I really suck at it too. Well, not that I suck at it, but to me, chinese and english are two seperate languages. I can't translate. I speak one, it flows off the tongue, you ask me what I said, and I literally won't know. I mean, I know what it means in my head, but I can't put it into words in the other language.

Take for example, a sentence like: So I stabbed her in the chest and me and the hot girl lived happily ever after.

I mean, I could probably say that in chinese, but I couldn't translate it to english if someone asked me to. Hell, i can't even translate it to chinese right now, even though when I stabbed that girl, I said it perfectly fine to my new accomplice.

Shit. I think I said too much.

In any language.

An opposum was in my back yard

I opened my back door, like I do so often at night, and took a breath of fresh air. In the darkness, I heard a scuffling of leaves and I figured it was one of those fuckin squirrels that rummage around like little hyper-paranoid crack addicts looking for berries and nuts. But after my eyes adjusted, I saw the silhouette of a creature much larger than a squirrel.

Normally, this wouldn't bother me, but it was only about four feet away from me. It didn't bolt, so I thought maybe one of the neighborhood stray cats wandered in. But as my eyes adjusted, I saw the beady little eyes and the sharp snout. It's mouth was slightly open, it looked it was about to pounce on me. I don't really like rabies.

So i just my screen door. It looked away from me and started walking away, which pissed me off. It was like mocking me. It was basically saying, yea, that's right, you close that door, I own this yard tonight, bitch.

So I opened the screen door slightly, and pounded on the metal frame. It got shook. It didn't run. I was losing.

Anticlimatically, it eventually wandered out of my field of vision and I couldn't hear it anymore.

There really isn't a point to any of this.

John Kerry ain't no Red Sox.

So Tuesday morning, amidst the chirping birds and the damp dewdrop laden grass of 7 am, I strolled into the voting center. I never voted before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I showed them my voter registration card, they thumbed through a catalog of voter registration stuff and made me sign my name.

I waited in the horrendously short line. Like, I literally was told to wait in line as the one other person who was voting before me finished. I mean, granted it was 7 am, but geez, I figured there'd be at least a handful of people.

The voting machine wasn't so complicated. There were some red lights for each row. You pushed a button in a column, the red light would switch over indicating who you had marked as voting for. It was sad though, the only names I recognized where John Kerry, George Bush and Ralph Nader. I like how there were two different socialist republic candidates.

As the numbers came in

I bite my nails the whole day, wanting to know if Kerry would win. The states started trickling in at around 8:30. Bush was stomping Kerry, swallowing up the whole retarded bible belt, the southern coastline and middle america. There was so much Republican Red on that map. Kerry had like 1 state. One tiny blue state. And sadly, that tiny blue state was worth as much as six retarded middle america states.

Then Florida went to Bush. I cringe. Then Pennsyvania went to Kerry. I cheered. Ohio was the one who would decide it. It stayed unmarked for hours. At one point, I thought Ohio was jsut fucking with America and just decided not to call a winner until everyone else did. I was going to punch Ohio.

Then Bush won Ohio. I blinked. I checked other news sites. They had Ohio marked for bush too. Bush now had 269. One more electoral vote to win. Just one, and seven states were still open. I cringed.

I didn't give up on Kerry. At 5 am, the democrats hadn't given up either. I went to sleep. Woke up... and the pussies gave up.

So ends my political post. See you in four years.