Suicide bombers, a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Do you have an explosive personality? Want to make lucrative income for your family and never spend a single penny of it yourself? Transpire to be a martyr?

Then we got the job for you! Self Mechanized Explosive Technicians, or more commonly known as suicide bombers are a great way to bring recognition to yourself, your family, and your extreme islamic wing. Spread your teachings and the Word of Allah and let infidels discover fear.

There's virtually no time investment at all. Just give us a call, we'll ship you all the equipment you need including rope, a barrel of gunpowder, a box of loose metal scraps, and an easy to use video tape that explains the proper procedures for equiping yourself and screaming popular phrases like "FOR ALLAH!" and "DEATH TO INFIDELS!"

For a limited time, call now and receive not one, but two bomber kits! Strap your wife or kid with you and go down in a blaze of glory together!