Time to piss people off (again)

Alright, I had an epiphany the other day. I found the reason why I would most likely be pro-choice over pro-life. Ready for this?

America is a land where we have the freedom to choose our own believe system. So basically, we have the freedom of choice. Now, who's the number one pusher of pro-life laws? Christian-Catholics and others along those lines. Now, for us to submit to those laws banning abortion, we would be yielding to a particular belief system. We would be submitting to one group's religion.

Did we not leave our motherlands be in a world where we can worship and have beliefs that will not be oppressed by the ruling power's religion? Is that not why the protestants left catholic ruled countries in order to worship the way they wanted to?

Banning abortions would be banning freedom of choice. Banning abortions would be banning the essence of what makes america, AMERICA.

Obviously, this isn't a 100 percent perfect answer, it's just a really good one that I thought of for myself. No justifying souls or defining a line that says a two cell thing in a women's womb is a complete lifeform, or drawing the line between safety and murder. No religious arguments or morality involved. Just the principal of the matter and the foundations on what America is.

I like the fence though

In the end, I still decide not to take a stand on this issue, because I can see validity in the reasons of both sides. I will say though, that I lean slightly more to the pro-choice side. From my experience, the majority of pro-lifers are a bunch of stupid ignorant people who are mindlessly pro-life because they no capacity to have free-thought. And those pro-life bumper stickers piss me off.

I mean, hell, if i had to choose sides, i'd side with the people who actually had intelligence and didn't need 40 bumper stickers to help convince other people of how stupid they are.

Remember kids, if everyone in the world believed something, it doesn't make it true or even right.

I'm not funny? Neither are you.

This guy, who's name I won't mention, (but who's name rhymes with "a tard") sent me this "joke" list.

Here's a summary of what I got from it:

Some forty reasons why women suck

1. I can't get women, this makes me feel better.
2. Bitch about women I can't get.
3. Bitch about women I can get, but they're ugly.
4. Make myself try to sound manly, but yet, I'm acting like a girl.
5. Continue to state the obvious because people stupider then me will care and think it's funny.
6. Look at me listing more women stereotypes!
7. The only reason i'm writing this list is my girl broke up with me and I can't get laid anymore.
8. So really it's just a summary of my frustration.
9. Almost to forty, what else can i write about?
10. Whine.
11. Bitch.
12. Pout.
13. Whine
14. Whine
15. Whine.
...
...
39. Whine.
40. Just want to remind you i'm a man that complains about all the wrong things about women, but when it comes down to it, for the puss, i'll be as whipped as she wants me to be.

My top 40 list

1-40. I love women because they're different from me. If I wanted to date someone who had my interests, i'd be gay.

In summary, don't bitch about women, it only shows your own shortcomings.

Holidays = Fat and Lazy

My writing has become sporadic over the holidays. Now with all the old chum(p)s back from college, i've been out and about, reminiscing of the good old days--you know, 6 months ago when we spent summer together.

On top of that, holidays have made me extremely lazy. All these people doing vigorous pre and post christmas shopping, all that energy, it just sucks the life out of me and makes me want to stay home.

And i'm getting fat, I can't even get out of my house, let alone get into my japanese sports car.

Actually, all these reasons would indicate that I would be posting more, does it?

Damn you Krispy Kreme!

During Christmas Eve, the craving struck. The desire to engulf a soft, chewy, melt-in-your-mouth, glaze dripping krispy kreme hit me. Christmas Eve though, was the day that Krispy Kreme closed early. They closed at 7 pm, I arrived at 7:20. I almost cried. Imagine that, it's like a crack whore trying to get crack and her pimp drug supply sugerdaddy locked his door and wouldn't answer. Yes, feel my pain. Feel my addiction. They are my drug.

I finally got some Krispy Kremes on friday though, and I proceeded to gorge myself on it's krispy kreme goodness.

Now I feel like i'm 400 pounds. Obviously i'm not, and obviously i'm not a girl, so why am I bitching about getting fat?

When I come up with some answers, i'll let you know, but until then, bitching season is open.

Post Merryment

How were all your xmas days? Mine was wonderful. I saw people that I haven't seen since last holiday season, got to be around old people I used to hang out with, got to see family friends and learn that I am going to be an "uncle". Scary. And received enough xmas greetings and cheers to last for the entire year.

The Merry Christmas greeting

Alright, something that irked me this past few days. People that say Thank You after you say Merry Christmas to them. But... it's a greeting, not a compliment or blessing. "Merry Christmas" is equivalent to saying "Good Morning". Do you say Thank You to someone after saying good morning? No, you say "good morning" to them.

"Merry Christmas" is not the same as saying god bless you after someone sneezes, because that's a blessing. It isn't the same as nice hair either--that's a compliment. You say "thank you" after those.

Which leads me to the second part, because Thank You is usually followed by You too on a christmas greeting. So if, as stated above, Merry Christmas was a blessing or a compliment, why would you say "You too?" If someone says god bless you after a sneeze, you don't say "you too", and if someone compliments you, you wouldn't say "you too".

So basically, if you said "thank you, you too" at any given point during the holidays, you were wrong. Don't argue with me and don't do it again next year.

And remember kids, think before you open your mouth... especially if you're underwater.

More christmas posting

Look guys (and girls), stop asking me what I want my xmas, I don't know. I don't have anything I NEED either. Ok, well, there are things I want, but they're way too freakin expensive and I wouldn't ever ask any of my friends to buy me that stuff. Unless said friend won the lottery, in which case, i'd make him or her buy me everything. Hell, if it was a her, i'd probably try my damndest to marry said girl.

Xmas is about giving. The mere fact that you ask me what I want is already a great gesture. Of course, when you do that, I will be expecting you to follow through. Nothing worse then pretending that you're going to buy a person something and then never doing it. There are still people on my blacklist for doing that. Yup, I keep track of you guys (you know who you are).

Summary

1) So get me whatever you want. There is no such thing as a bad present (except for the ones that suck! just kidding)
2) If you led on that you will be getting me something, you better really do it or risk being looked at differently by me forever.
3) Don't get me anything at all. If you go thes route though, are you prepared for the guilt when I get you something and you haven't gotten me anything?

Tough choices

The right kind of gift.

You know, gifts are getting harder and harder every year. Everything I want to buy people ends up being in the three digit range. I don't exactly have that kind of money to blow, and these people aren't worth three digits. I mean, you pretty much have to be my mom, my sister, mygirlfriend, or a friend who I know will always be at my side. And well, I don't have a girlfriend, or a sister, and I only have one mom (i hope), that leaves only a handful of people that deserve my gratious giftness. Even if I was dead, those few people would be hardpressed to pry my hard earn money from my cold decomposing hands.

So what then, do you get these people? The mid-range presents always seem to be a bunch of crap. It's the little items that are like less then twenty bucks that are truly giveable, and of course, the three digit presents. Three digits I've already said were too much, and for these close people, twenty bucks is an insult of a gift. We, sirs, have a predicament.

My friend Brian did it the right way. Let me share so that you slackers can utilize the last couple days before xmas and get your supposed friends presents. Brian bought me a small present that he knew I would enjoy, because he's my friend and he knows me (remember, it's the little things in life that make life worth living). That's not enough though. I'd punch him in the face if all he gave me was a book--at least two books are needed to avoid face punching. So what does he do to top of his little perfect present? A gift card.

What does that say to me? I bought you something that I knew you'd like, but here's something else to complete the gesture.

That, my friends, is money. Pun intended.

I want to be a writer

At this point in my life, I think I'm pretty settled on what I want to do for a living. I want to write. Do I want to make a career out of it? Probably not, freelance writing and writing a novel rank on the top of my list. This lets me do other things like have a real job that pays real money.

I found an interesting new start up magazine. I sent them my info and I hope to hear back from them. I'll let you all know more as I know more, don't want to jinx myself.

Another short blog today, but hey, you can't have it all.

Think about it this way, would you rather have a short moment that's absolutely perfect, or a really long average moment?

Yea, that's how I feel about this post.

The best thing since toasted bread



I love Cookie& Snickers. The other Cookie& products like M&M and Milky way doesn't really excite but, but the snickers ones do. It tastes like a twix bar with peanuts. My lord, it's brilliant.

I mean, ever have a twix and go, mmm, this is good, but I wish it were more filling but at the same time, a snickers is just too much? Well, here you go. It's scrumptious.

I know they make a twix one too, but I don't see how that wouldn't just taste like a really big twix bar.

Now, if only I can convince them to sponsor my website. They wouldn't have to pay me anything, just pay me with their cookie bars.

Christmas Already??

There's only about a week left until Christmas. What? What the freak happened. Thanksgiving just passed, didn't it? Man, Issue 5 really did a number on me. I can't even keep track of time properly.

Even if I haven't done my xmas shopping yet, the holiday spirit has really hit me. Most of my conversations are light hearted and upbeat. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Nothing to write about
I already did my xmas list, I did my xmas issue, I'm pretty much done for this year. I'm not even annoyed at anything so I can't go on a tirade.

So I'll leave you with this: What would you rather get for xmas, one giant gift or many many small gifts?

Leave a comment about it, i'm curious about your views.

Too many babies

This weekend has been filled with birthdays. In no particular order, here are the shoutouts to the birthday girls:

Tata: Happy Birthday. Hope you're enjoying life at CMU. Hope you have fun over winter break in warm toasty Texas. Godspeed and may the force be with you.

Hanna: Happy Birthday. Hope you're enjoying your co-op in Philly. Hope you enjoy getting paid for the holidays. Godspeed and may the force be witih you.

Karen: Happy Birthday. Hope you're enjoying life as an OLD PERSON. Hope to see you over the holidays. Godspeed, and lookin beautiful in your birthday pics:


Woo woo!

Issue 5 is up

After struggling and nailbiting and going through an anxiety attack, issue 5 is finally up. I don't really have much to say about it, be sure to check out my editorial for the month to get more info. Actually, i'm pretty much drained of all words.

The New BANC fund

That's right, the BANC fund is back.. but this time, it isn't Buy Allen a New Car fund, or the Build Allen a Nice Car fund... No, this time, it's the Buy Allen a New Camera Fund:


Canon EOS Digital Rebel

6.3 Megapixels, oodles of features, and all for under a thousand dollars ($999).

All donations are welcome. Don't let this poor boy (me) starve without his daily suppliment of technology.

The passion of what it means to be Virtually Infamous

I take Virtually Infamous Magazine very seriously. Seriously. My co-worker came up to me the other day and went “wow Allen, I didn’t know you took your magazine so seriously.”

To prove myself

Now though, how do I prove to you, my adoring fans, that I take it so seriously? Does staying up to 3 in the morning when I have work at 9 just so I can finish writing emails to people I’m trying to solicit articles from prove it? How about getting up at 4:30 in the morning after tossing in bed for an hour thinking about articles so that I can write down an idea?

How about checking my stats daily for the most popular search strings that have hit my site so that I can cater to my audience? Or maybe planning two issues ahead of time so that I can set a date with a potential interview or flesh out an article idea? How about gathering about thirty entries worth of cars so that I could bring my readers an awesome looking cover? Does any of that prove how dedicated I am?

What does it mean?

Virtually Infamous Magazine has always, since its start, been a place where people who fancy themselves as writers, photographers, journalists, and pretty much anybody else who has a knack for writing/publication can come on and express themselves to the world through the internet. That goes the same for artists, models, photographers, and designers. This place is just one big portfolio for you to slap on your resumes. For other people who have non-writing talents, it’s a way to gain exposure to the things you do, to draw another inbound link to your own site. I’m not greedy. I like to share my success.

And why it matters

So pardon me if I get a little irked when people can’t take an extra minute to think about this and realize it’s a good thing, not only for me, but for everyone involved. I can hear it in your voices and in the way you reply to the things I say. And yes, I do just about ask every one of my friends to get involved in this, because like I said above, I want them all to take advantage of a potentially great thing. Hell, I ask people I don’t even know to get involved, because I figure with the help they give me I’m giving back equally as much (if not more).

All I ask is for a little respect and to be treated courteously. If I ask you for something, and you can’t/don’t want to do it, don’t say you’ll try when you really aren’t. I’d rather you say you can’t or don’t want to. You won’t hurt my feelings; after all, I’m just giving you the first chance to be a part of something. If you’re not willing, you can be replaced. There are numerous amounts of people out there who would be enthusiastic at the opportunities buried within this slow but steadily rising site. Every day I search for them, it’s only a matter of time before we meet and grow strong together. Jump on while you still can.

I could be wrong

Maybe one day this whole site will flop down on my face. On that day, I’ll admit defeat and go “Alright, maybe I wasn’t cut out for this type of thing, time to cut my losses and move on. Thanks to all of you who believed in me.” But you know what, until that day comes, I’m treating this like it will be something. I’m going to be positive. Then you, I, my writers, my contributors, and anyone who ever helped in any way to bring this beautiful place up off the ground…

We’ll all be Virtually Infamous.


Virtually Infamous Magazine is still open to individuals who feel that can contribute in any way. Click here to learn more

Happy 15,000 hits to me. Yea, i'm like a day late in congratulating myself, but ah well.

Issue 5

The articles are shaping up nicely for the next issue. It's all going to be car themed, so I think a great deal of you will enjoy it. Yes, even the girls. Girls like good looking cars right? Plus, if you don't like it, you're always welcome to write your own articles.

Random things I'd want to do with my girlfriend:

All night movie marathon: Under the covers, watching til we both pass out in each other's arms.
Skydiving: Trying to kiss in the air would be fun.
Rally Race Spectating: What's better then taking your girl to the swiss alps? Watching rally racing when you get there.
Horseback riding: Did this before, it was fun. My crotch probably won't appreciate it, but that's what the girlfriend is for right? *wink wink*
Sailing in the Carribean: Just you, me, and the wild blue sea. And the sharks and hurricanes.
Disneyworld: A week where we forget the rest of the world and just live out our childhood moments.

I could go on forever, but I won't. There's gotta be some surprises for the lucky girl right?

I reply to my comments

Someone by the name of 'd' posted this comment on my december 2 blog: "by sayin u dont want something in return may very well negate the mere fact that u dont want something in return. especially on a journal site. ;)"

I dunno who that is, but in response, well, i've been saying that I don't want anything in return for years now. And sure, deep down inside, everyone wants something in return. I'm just saying that's not the purpose of xmas to me.

Plus, ok, so let's say for a minute that by saying I don't want anything, I really do want things. Well, I already admit that on the second to last line of the post. So really, your statement isn't so groundbreaking. But, I in no way hinted at actual things I want, unless you're trying to tell me that someone is really going to buy me a working model of the eniac? Or even on the most realistic item, the motorcycle, who's going to spend the 5k on that for me?

But, this is all stuff I already said or implied on the post in one way or another. I'm not adding any new ideas (and neither are you), it's all there for you if you took the time to figure it out.

Thanks for the comment though, I had fun tearing you to shreds!


*********NOTICE*********
Sorry guys, some of you have been linking my pics. I had to change the names. I don't mean to be an ass about it, but not only does it suck up an outrageous amount of bandwidth, it messes with the stats for my site. If you wish to still link the pics, shoot me an email or something and tell me which pics, I'll set it up so you can on another server. I'd like to say though, there are alot of free picture hosting companies out there that you can use.

On the same note, if you're going to link pics from my site, at least have the common courtesy to plug virtuallyinfamous.com with a real clickable link. Give a little, take a little, you know what I mean? I'm not going to spend my time showing you my pics if you're not going to spend the extra few seconds to create a real link to my page after you jack my pictures.

Now a blast from the past:

Remember kids, life is filled with holes, just like a donut, but when you eat it, you realize it just gives you room to eat another!

People keep saying that I sound angry in my last couple of posts. How so?

I talked about penny arcade's charity, then i talked about stupid cellphones, and then I talked about women giving up their own power when they have (and deserve) so much of it.

I don't see that anger in any of those things. Maybe annoyance, but not anger. Anyway, back to today's topic.

A post about my life

No long post today, I think it's about time to post my daily routine, since I'm finally situated:

Wake up at 8 am, turn off my cellphone alarm which gingerly plays "Ode to Joy." I will forever be bitter at that happy song.
Go back to sleep.
Wake up at 8:30 am when my old style dual bell alarm clock clatters like crazy, with enough force to almost fall off the nightstand.
Set alarm to 9, go back to sleep.
Wake up at 9, contemplate setting alarm later, sit up on my bed, fall asleep in a sitting position for about 10 minutes.
Get up, get dressed, brush teeth, wash face. You know, the effin boring stuff.
Drive 2 minutes to work. Get annoyed when someone is going slower then 60 miles an hour. What? I'm late for work.

Get to work, go on computer and check work email. Delete everything because it never concerns me.
Someone tells me to do something. I say no. Pause, then do it anyway.

Wait for lunch.

Go to lunch, either home or with the homies.

Come back to work and dread the second half of the day. Throw in a couple coffee runs and yup, that's it. Bored yet? Good! Cuz this post is over.

Yea, you try to write everyday and see what happens.

The Disempowerment of Women

Alright girls, i'm going to tell you something that won't change anything at all.

You women hold the power.

See, didn't change anything. Why? Because you women squander your power on senseless things. Since this could be my 50 page Master Thesis some day, i'm just going to list three reasons why you continue to keep yourself in a place of powerlessness.

Your petty squabbling with others of your gender: All women do is talk trash on other women. Oh, their makeup is so terrible. Ew, that girl has no sense of style. How can that girl wear that when she's fat/skinny as hell? That girl is a slut. That girl thinks she's all that but she's not. That girl is my "friend" but when i'm with other people, all I do is gossip about her and put her down.

If women could drop the backstabbing stupid shit and work together, you'd take over the world. But as Jeff and the rest of maryland style says. You can't, you never will. All you do is compete with your own kind and fear the reprecussions of not fitting into social standards.

You like being put in your place: Why are guys asses? Cuz you girls keep going after the guys that know they can get any girl they want. Women can go and sleep with 95% of the men out there. They can use them, lead them on, and basically manipulate the eff out of all those guys. But no, you choose the playa cuz "he's sweet to me" and "this time it's real, all the other women were played cuz he didn't love them." Yea, you're really different. Why put men in that position of power?

Your senseless fight for equality: This was already discussed, but i'll rephrase it since the other case was not general enough. Stop doing things that make you equal. Women are women, men are men. You have different ways of doing things to get the same results. If you're a hot looking girl, take advantage of men's lust and get what you want. I'm not saying sleep with some guy in power to get power, but hey, there's no reason you can't lead him on right?

If you get a job cuz you're hot, so be it. You think actresses and models and anchors on the sports network got the job because they're highly skilled? I'm not sayin they're not, but I bet there's some ugly girl out there that has more expertise that should be working there. But don't take any of this the wrong way, i'm just saying that as a women, you have other roads that can lead you to the same place. So what if you can't carry a 200 pound bookshelf. You can sure as hell just ask a guy who can to do it.

So then, who really has the power? You telling the guy what to do, or the guy who's stupid enough to lift things for you?

Useless forms of communication

I hate aim. it's such an empty form of communication. And nobody is ever at the computer when you want to talk to them anyway. It's just a pointless high tech emailing system that posts away messages.

One day I got into that whole talkative mode where you just want to talk to everyone, so I scanned down my buddy list. Out of the 190+ people on my list, only 40 or so were on. Out of the 40 or so, only 11 were actually on their computers. So I imed all 11 of them. For twenty minutes, nobody replied back.

So what's the point of aim? With all the speed of the internet and what not, I couldn't insta-connect with anyone. I've had faster email conversations with people. Email conversations are deeper too, cuz you actually say everything you want in one try instead of hearing fourteen DINGS before the person finishes ONE sentence.

Plus, 70% of your message is lost without verbal or visual cues. How is it possible to have a really good conversation on aim when only 30% of what you're trying to say is getting through? Hard to tell sarcasm and light hearted comments on aim. Oh, but wait, there's smiley faces! Those make up for everything! (see, that's sarcasm. but could you really tell?)

Other useless communication tools:

Why do people have cellphones if they don't pick them up? My one friend turns his cellphone off when he doesn't use it. Most people return a phonecall hours after they're called (I'm guilty of this too). What's the point of having a device that's always on you if it doesn't let you become instantly available?

Don't let your cellphones become a sophisticated text pager. If you wanted that, you could get one for a quarter of the price you're paying now.

Cellphone Voicemail: What's the point of voicemail? First of all, if you agree with the above, then voicemails shouldn't be needed. You would be able to reach anyone when you needed them. If it's not important enough that you had to reach them instantly, then don't leave a voicemail, use another form of communication. Ok, fine, leave a voicemail, but elaborate enough where I don't have to call you back. That's the point right? To communicate some message across.

And I hate voicemails where the person is like "hey, it's *insert name*, call me back." No kidding. I saw on the caller ID that you called and I called you back before I even checked my voicemail.

That's another thing, people who call you back before they check their voicemails. Assuming you don't believe in the above things that I have said, why the hell did you activate your voicemail if you don't check it before returning calls?
There's too many times where after I left a voicemail, the person called back and was like "you called?". Like I said above, I left the voicemail so that I could communicate some message without inconveniencing you to call me back.

And people say video games cause violence.

I was so touched by this that I had to post about it.

Here a link of penny arcade's effort to donate toys to sick children at Seattle Children's Hospital.

Anyone who knows anything about video games knows that Penny Arcade is possibly the funniest gamer cartoon ever made. It's amazing how many people they got to contribute toys.

I'm not asking anyone to donate to their cause, but hey, if you know an organization or have a rich friend that's looking for a way to help, this is it right here.

Christmas isn't dead yet.

That wonderful feeling when something goes right wrong.

I received my first real submission yesterday for Virtually Infamous Magazine. It was two pictures. The email was blank. I just assumed it was some photographer who liked my site and wanted to get exposed. Ok. I emailed her back thanking her and asking her if she wanted anything specific plugged.

I went to bed smiling, knowing that if this is a trend, then in the future, I may be receiving more submissions.

Today, I get home and checked my email. She had replied, but the email was blank. Ok, so a blank email with pictures, and a blank reply. I emailed her back one more time telling her that her email was blank. She replied back with another blank email.

Colored me confused, I really want to know what this lady has to say now. It boggles me because I cannot for my life figure out what is wrong. First I thought it was me not receiving emails properly, but a couple test emails from different sources proved that theory wrong. Now I just don't know.

I gave her my hotmail email hoping to finally get in touch with her. We'll see how that goes.

This blog was suppose to just be about how wonderful it is to see things fall into place... to see the fruits of my hard work... but, technical difficulties.

Well, murphy said it best. It all goes wrong.

I had the weirdest dream last night.

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamed that one of my friend's ex girlfriend was a pornstar. Well, she wasn't a porn star when he was dating her, but somehow she ended up being a pornstar. I don't even know which friend it was, it was just like some generic friend with some generic ex.

Of course, i'm insane, so the first thing I thought of was how to solicate her (no pun intended) to do an article for virtually infamous. Yea, that's right. There's like a bucket of free sex in front of me, and all I want to do is turn her into an article. She seemed to be interested, and of course, since I knew her ex, she couldn't charge me. Not like I was trying to film a porno or anything. I figured it was good way to get her name out.

I mean, don't get me wrong, i'm not completely homo, I planned on putting her in a photoshoot and everything. No nudity of course, I haven't resorted to being that kind of webpage... yet.

Now that I look back, i have no idea why I shared this with you.

Any Naruto fans?


Which Naruto Character are You?
quiz by orangeday.net

The Unpossible Xmas Wish List

Holiday season has arrived. We all have heard about the countless people being pummeled and trampled during Black Friday while people with no lives ran into walmart to purchase 30 dollar dvd players.

Everybody has a wishlist for their holiday gifts. Everyone wants something. Remember though, the best gifts are the ones money can't buy, but money can buy everything. It just depends on how much money you have.

What's better, a phone call from your loved one on christmas eve? Or every time the phone rings, a diamond necklace falls into your lap? See? That's the difference between free presents and an eff load of money.

I don't really want much in life, but if you really wanted to buy me something, the following list is the only things that I will accept:

Siamese Twins Siamese Cats: What's better then one cat? Two cats stuck together!
A thermal detonator: Anyone who has watched star wars would want nuclear bomb power in the size of a grenade too.
A Military Issue M-16: My military friends keep refusing to give me one. I just want one. If I can steal a standard issue stapler from work, I would only hope they could steal a standard issue firearm from their work.
An X-Cube-Station: Screw the whole debate on which game system is the best. Just combine all three and give them to me.
A twin turbo dodge viper armed with gattling guns: Not only would be freakin cool to have a viper, but it'd be awesome to gun down sunday drivers too.
A working model of the ENIAC built to today's geek's standards: Nothing wrong with a computer that takes up 3 rooms, but it's outdated. Put some cool neon lights on it, throw in a water cooling system, and lots and lots of colored wiring. Put it all in a clear case with an easy to screw off panel so people can walk around inside of it.
42" Plasma screen Transformer Decepticon: Basically stolen from south park. I want a huge ass plasma screen with a remote control that has a "KILL" button, which will turn my new monitor into the destroyer of human life.
Two more hours in the day: Yes, if someone could make everyday 26 hours instead of 24, that would be freakin great. Don't play dumb, don't act like when it's 2 am, you didn't wish it was really midnight so you could get a full nights rest. Plus, we'd get two more episodes of 24!
An updated version of ROB from nintendo: Anyone remember that robot that played games with you? Yes, since I don't have any friends, i'd like a new AI robot to play games like Halo with me.. and when it beat me, it'd talk trash on me just like a real friend!
The Island of Jamaica: I figure if someone gives me an island, this is the one I'd want.
The perfect woman: Good luck finding this one, it doesn't exist.

And lastly but most importantly,
A Suzuki SV650S: I want a motorcycle, i want a motorcycle, I want a motorcycle.

I still stand by the fact that Christmas is about giving, not about receiving. I have long ago accepted that people only give things to others when they expect something in return. So since I dare to be different, I only give presents to those I want to give present to, and expect nothing back in return. That's nothing new, it's the same shizzle I've been saying for the past two xmas's, bizzle. So if you want to give me something, there's a whole list up top.

Or you can just give me anything. Truly, it's the thought that counts.

No matter what anyone says.

The truth about women's equality

Alright, i'm not a sexist all the time, and I'd just like to say that if women truly truly want to be equal to men, there's a few things we need to settle.

First, why would you want to be a man? We're supposedly the dirty, ignorant, macho steroid pumping asses that start wars and compare penis sizes with each other. You sure you want that? If so, then why aren't there more boob size competition at teeny bopper slumber parties?

Second, I don't care what you say, if women had to stand up to pee, they'd effin miss the toilet all the time too. Men's tinkie winkies don't always listen, alright? They're not like a gun, you can't just point and shoot. Sometimes it's sleeping, sometimes it's cold, sometimes it's standing too high at attention. It's hard to aim when there's so many variables in the equation.

And if women were so clean and proper in the bathrooms, then why is it that every women has to "hover" when they go pee in public? That means somewhere down the line some woman peed on the seat forcing all other women to the hover. Or some woman was so paranoid that someone peed on the seat (see, no faith in your own kind) that they hovered in the air and peed all over the place. Like a sprinkler system.

Lastly, if women were so gosh darn freakin equal to men, then when they go and get a divorce from their cheating bastard of a husband, why do they want alimony? I can understand child support, but I can't understand a woman needing extra money from her ex-husband for no freakin reason. Especially if they were suppose to be equal. There is no equality in stealing half your husbands money just because you were married to him and then realized he wasn't good for you. Go find another man to torture and bleed dry, you slut.

Ok, that may be a little harsh, but explain to me then, if a man make's $60,000 a year and a woman makes $20,000 a year, the ex-husband has to pay his ex-wife $20,000 of his money to her? And if she gets married again? She keeps collecting because instead of it being called alimony, it's called child support. So you're trying to tell me that she gets $20,000 a year for no reason, plus her new husband's money, AND her own money? That's equality?

Equality my ass. If you women truly wanted equality you wouldn't show how weak and feeble you really are by milkin the life out of previous love ones. If you were truly equal, you wouldn't need your ex's money. You don't need anybody. Real men don't need anyone or anything. If you can't accept that then don't try to act like a man and act like you deserve equality.