I think I have a trust issue. I find trusting often leads to disappointment. This blog is going to address two issues: relying on others and doing favors for others.

I've learned from a very young age to rely on myself. Going back in my memories, school required that books had to be wrapped, and most people used brown paper bags. At this young age, I didn't know how. My grandmother offered to cover my books for me, but I wasn't sure if she knew how. I trusted her to do it, since she said she could do it. Well, I got the books back and they were not covered in the same manner that other students had covered. If done right, a book cover didn't need tape at all, except maybe to hold the flaps so that they wouldn't fall off randomly. My grandmother's method just used alot of tape to strap that sucker onto the book.

Well, it was all well and good, until the last day of school when we had to remove the covers, have the books inspected, and hand them back in. Since there was so much tape, pulling off the brown paper bag required pulling off half the cover with it. Let's just say the teacher wasn't pleased, though I didn't suffer any consequences.

I wasn't really mad with my Grandmother, it's not her fault, since she had honest intentions. But I blamed myself for not making sure everything would be done properly. I try to be as self reliant as I can. I try to do my own work, try to resolve my own situations, and teach myself everything that I need to know in order to accomplish living. Even to this day though, I still solicite other's aid, or trust someone else to take care of something, but more often then not, I find myself in a position where they didn't do everything (or anything) I expected them to.

On the opposite end, I offer help and take on tasks for others freely. Though I sometimes cannot bring myself to let another do something I could do better myself, it puts me in the mindset where I feel I can do things for people better then they can do for themselves. This mentality has put me in disappointing situations as well.

For example, I may offer to do some work with a friend, and then split is so that I do most of it. It's no big deal for me, I trust myself to be able to accomplish the task and I know my friend will be thankful for relieving his stressload. But then, when the work is due, I'll find out that he hasn't even done his part, and I am burdened with completing everything (though still splitting the credit).

Or I may lend someone money on good faith, trusting the individual to return it in the timeframe that he has set for himself. Does it ever work out? Hardly.

It's hard to break old habits of trusting others though. I find myself to be too optimistical: Yes, they may have disappointed me once, but maybe they'll remember that and change their ways. Next time it'll work out.

No. Can't think like that anymore. Granted, there are incidents where it has worked out, and everything has gone as I desired it to, but unfortunately, the frequency of disappointment overshadows any positives.

Do not trust others, do not offer trust. Only trust yourself.

I wish I could, but I know i'll end up trusting again only to end up in disappointment. It's a viscious cycle, but at least I can see it coming.

Blogger sucked yesterday. I couldn't post, so I just said eff it, knowing that I'd post today anyway.

Tuesday:
Went out with Jeff and this girl Marlee from my sociology Reigns of Terror class. We basically went out with a bunch of her friends. It's always fun meeting new people. We shot pool somewhere in northeast philly, then went to this nice diner where service was above average. Haven't had a good time like that in a while. Hoping to see alot more of that pool hall.

Today, Wednesday, middle of the hump: Didn't do anything! Hanna called me as I was waking up and we ended up going to celebrate happy hour at Chili's. Half price apetizers? Half price magaritas? Full stomachs for two people for a little more then ten bucks? YES.

Michelle Branch (in my pants) is on TV right now. It's actually the first time I've had the TV on in a couple months. I have no idea why it's on, or why michelle branch is on, but who cares.

Stick a fork in me. This blog is done.

My day has been effed so badly cuz of an 8 am midterm. I'm dead tired.. and the sun isn't even up yet.

Argh, i'm too tired to even go off on a tangent. I was hoping that just writing would let me do such.

...

Nope. Not working. Guess sometimes you just can't make everyone happy.

Sorry guys, looks like i'm shutting down til tomorrow.

*Program terminated*

No weekend summary. Beside the below entry, nothing much happened.

Chilled with Alan alot, we did some stuff, hung out, went to dave and busters, chilled, ate, did some more stuff, he played games using what should be mainstream broadband (don't understand people with 56k), and I played alot of Knights of the Old Republic.

Yes, that was a great run on sentence!

So this blog will just be a video game review:

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

KotOR is probably the first real RPG to grace the Xbox. Yes, there have been one or two other RPGs, but KotOR sets the bar so high that it will be talked about for quite some time. I dare say contender for Xbox game of the year.

Knights was made by Bioware Corp. The same company that brings you Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, and Neverwinter Knights. It plays very much like the other Forgotten Realms based games, and since this Star War's rpg is based off of the D20 system, many dungeons and dragons fans will feel right at home.

The graphics are stunning. Not much more to say then that. The sound is also wonderful. Every character besides the main character has been done in voice, meaning if you aren't a fan of reading (why the hell are you on my blog then?) then you can just listen to everyone. It's almost like a movie. Even the sounds of blasters and lightsabers are authentic.

The controls during combat need a little work, it may be better on x-box's little wussy S controller, but since I'm not a little wussy, I can't say for sure. You are allowed to switch between all three of your characters whenever you like, but in the heat of battle, pushing the right button to pause, unpause, initiate an action or switch characters can become a little confusing. Maybe it's just me having a panic attack, but i've been stumbling through it with no signs of gaining more familiarity.

You may want to explore through KotOR's auto-pausing options for the sake of having more control during combat. I personally trust in AI to do what's right, but sometimes a little micromanaging goes a long way.

The storyline is addictive, which each event drawing you in like a fly to the glow of a lightsaber. There is a semi-linear flow, though you have the ability to follow the good, light side ways, or be a dick and follow the dark side. Each has it's own merit, and in this author's opinion, it seems the light side has more long term benefits and the dark side has more immediate benefits. Turning down a shopkeep's reward may get you lowered prices at her shop, but threatening her to give you more of a reward may get you some additional money or items, but the shopkeeper may raise her price or all together refuse to sell you anything.

The characters are rich and you will at times have trouble choosing two teammates out of the nine total. In terms of the story, with certain characters you will get more interesting fluff as characters react to a situation. It makes for a unique gaming experience. For example, if someone is trying to convince you to do something extremely evil, a good character may interject her opinion and tell you how wrong it would be.

There are a couple things missing from the game which would make things better. First off, at shops, there is no quick way to go through your inventory to check your stocks. I often find myself guessing as to how many grenades or medkits I may need. There is also no way to cycle through every character's equiped equipment at a buy screen, which would assist in figuring out what new weapons and armor a person may need to buy. Even out of the shop, you're only able to cycle through equipment of characters you currently have in your team.

A multiplayer support function would be nice. Bioware has had these in their PC games, and with x-box's ability to host 4 controllers, some kind of split screen multiplayer action would be interesting. Granted there are times when the main character is solo, but it's worked in other games like Secret of Mana.

And that brings me to my last protest. I think the adventuring party should be four people. In a game where there are 9 support characters, it would be nice to use a third of them at a time. It's a compliment for me to say this too: the characters are so well developed and dynamic that you just want to play with all of them!

Alright, that's enough of that. Back to my newest addiction.

Got in a fight today. Well, actually just mostly prevented one.

Was at stoopin with friends from home, and this dude just tries to pick a fight with my friend tony. He gets up behind tony while he's sitting and just punches him in the back of the head. But his follow through was the worst. His fist ended up hitting Hanna's sister right on the side of her head.

You don't fuckin hit girls. I don't even care if it was an accident. I don't care if he was drunk. Every person should know their limits.

While all that was happening, I had already gotten up from my side of the table when I saw that the guy was about to swing. I jumped up on him and took him down, trying to pin him away. The dude's friends were trying to hold tony back too, but tony got his punch in. I considered the fight to be even and over with. They were kicked out, and we spent a while calming Hanna down. She of course was flipping out cuz her sister just got punched for no reason.

Besides that, me and tony were just like whatever, we weren't even making a big deal out of it. It was behind us.

Not so apparently. The guy was still outside waiting for us. I guess his friends couldn't get him in a car to leave or something. They pulled him away so that we had some room to leave, but he broke away and ran full sprint toward Tony.

Tony was already getting in the car, so I just stood in the way, getting ready to be tackled or whatever. His friend intercepted him before he caused trouble, but not before he tried swinging at Hanna's cousin, which I tried to prevent by pulling him away. He swung at me and hit me square in the eye.

Luckily drunk people don't hit hard.

Moral of the story: Don't be drunk. Don't be stupid. Don't hit girls.

Oh. My. God. I got a new game for xbox... and it's now freakin 7 am. I've been playing the game since 3ish, so it doesn't really seem like that long. Hell, didn't seem like that long to me until I freakin looked out my window and realized the sun was WAY up in the sky.

Holy crap. Holy crap.

I was walkin down the street today, and thinkin about why I chose certain girls as my favorite girls. Just a reminder of what my favorite girls' list is. It's just a simple list of three girls, not ranked in any particular order, that stick out in my mind as the most thoughtful and caring toward me beyond the boundaries of what a normal friendship would be. There can only be three girls on this list at any given time, so technically, in order to stay on it, the girl must actively participate in doing things for me.

It's really simple though, here's a breakdown:

1) Girls that just KNOW me, who can predict what I'm feeling and keep me in check all the time.

2) Girls that keep me in the mind. You know, somehow they relay to me that they were just thinkin about me or this or that reminded them of me.

3) Girls that do things for me unexpectedly. As in, I didn't do anything to trigger their action, and I wouldn't have to do anything in return if I didn't want to. Random gifts, thoughtful messages, and blowjobs fall under this category.

It's a really short list, and really, all three of them tie together into one big super category (if you really knew me, you'd know what it was).

But this is just the standard for my favorite girls, this by no means should be used as a judgement toward how these girls are as whole persons. It's just their interactions with me.

Obviously, the criteria is only about girls who treat me well, so what is the reward for even bothering? Well, these girls usually get top priority in anything that I do. They're the one's that could call me for a favor, and I'd drop everything I was doing to help them. They're the ones who I have no problems doin random things for, because I know that they've done stuff for me (and you know it, because i don't feel like i owe it to them, i just WANT to do it). And you know... if i were to win a million dollars suddenly, they'd be the first three people that I'd buy something for.

I also have a list of other specific things that would qualify a girl to the favorites, but i'm not going to post those in fear that someone will just do them to get on my good side. If I did post them, it would just feel like I told you to do it, and the same heartwarming sensation I get when naming my three favorite girls will be ruined.

Ruined like a virgin on prom night.

I'd like to be a ghostwriter for a stand up comic. I mean, I think I would do alright as one myself, but I have a tendency to stumble on words, maybe even a little soft-spoken at times (gasp, me soft spoken?? no way!). Bah, maybe i'll grace you all with a "skit" someday. I have it all planned out in my head.

Today's topic is habitual rituals (hey, that rhymes!). Do you ever notice that there are just certain things that you MUST do in the day or you just have an anxiety attack?

My rituals
I must brush my teeth and wash my face before leaving the house: Though I do on occasion, leave the house without doin so, I get extremely paranoid at bad breath. And if I don't wash my face, it feel like i'm going to break out like mold on an old big mac.

I must put on my seat belt before driving: To me, if I do not, it feels like i'm not part of the car, and therefore, can be thrown around like a four year old step-child.

I must wear socks with shoes: It just feels all grimey. My sweaty feet need some absorbtion processes.

I must have my cellphone on me at all times: I feel so detached from the world if it's not with me. I feel like it would just be my luck to receive an important phonecall (from a random hot girl who wants to have a one night stand with me... or something) in that time period when I don't have the phone. Odd really, cuz when i'm at my house, I usually forget my phone in my room... which is when everyone is trying to call me.

I must wash my hands after going to the bathroom: I hate peeing outdoors, in porta potties, or... in a girl's mouth... cuz, jeez, I just gotta wash my hands. Feels like germs are crawling all over me, and then I'm going to touch my face with the hand that just touched my penis? No. Can't do it. That's why I can never understand people who don't wash their hands.

There's probably a whole bunch of alotta more along those lines.. but it's late, and I'm sure you get the point.

Think of your own. Post them on the forum.

Tomorrow, at around 5 pm, will be one week from when I found out and experienced one of the worse possible nightmares I never wanted to face.

Now, one week from now, I will be attempting to do what I should have done last wednesday, before all of this happened. It just feels like my timeline hiccupped, and a week went by with nothing accomplished. Jeff said something that brought me to this conclusion. We had an assignment due this week that got pushed back. First we didn't like that, but now that we think about it... it was for the best.

The lesson I learned this week is to just hold your friends close. Be more aware of them, make sure they're in your hearts. Enjoy every moment and don't hold meaningless grudges, you never know. You wouldn't want to end it on a bad note.

I promise in future posts to return to my old self. It's just hard to let go and hard to forget.

Stay tuned for Issue #1 of Virtually Infamous Magazine. My projecting a release in the first week of August.

A myriad of thoughts both good and bad, shallow and deep.
I say to myself, "no, I shouldn't, the fallen need more time."
The Self struggles with loyalties and desires,
Fighting to be normal, fighting to do what's right.
But what is right? Right to alter self for others?
Or right to stay the same? Maybe not, maybe so.

It comes and goes, a sudden urge to bring forth a frown,
A habitual laughter from years of conditioning.
A moment silence for the trajedies, an epiphany for new hopes.
The brightness shine through still,
Through the past, to the present, and into the future,
I find rays of light within the stormy times.

No weekend update. Pretty much summed up my weekend yesterday anyway.

Today was just a chill and relax day. Sat around, vegetated. Tried to do homework. It's hard during the summer to get anything done. You just get lazy. All your friends are out having fun, enjoying summer, and then you realize you're just crapping away at school like a chump biscuit.

Well, except for the people who voluntarilty elected to have classes in the summer. I'm sure those people aren't being lazy. Me? Well, i'm forced into this non-summer-vacation situation. Looking forward to work. Just like when i'm at work, looking forward to school.

Summer classes are suppose to be relaxed and easier. They were last year, but it seems like someone just randomly decided to try to kick my ass this year. All my classes require extensive work and preparation. They all want me to do crap outside of the classroom. No. No, damnit. I didn't sign up for classes to do shit outside of class.

That's what summer vacations are for.

I still miss Russ. It's funny how true the saying is. You never really appreciate something (someone) until it's (he's) gone. Russ, man, there will never be someone like you. My heart goes out to you. I can't stop thinkin about you and somehow you're always in the back of my mind. Don't have many memories with you, but the few I have, I will hold them dear forever.

I couldn't even update my blog this week because my life just seemed meaningless compared to the one that was lost.

Wednesday and Thursday was just Tribute to Russell days. We just sat around and reminisced on all the good times we had. Being together, the whole Maryland Style crew, just helped everyone to deal with the sorrow. Friends are the best. I love my friends and know they love each other.

I thought about Russ-buss on the whole drive down the EHT that night. I had to pick up my friend Jim, since we had previously planned to go to Summer Sanitarium for the last two months. Seeing Jim helped me feel better too. But like I said before, russ was always in the back of my mind.

We get to Maryland, and well, it just hit home. The memories rushed back, and it was sombering but healthy at the same time. Seeing Brian in person again felt good too. Being with my two closest friends brought me tranquility.

Friday was the concert, and I was just listening for Russ, as if my ears were his ears for the day. My eyes got watery at more then one moment, just thinking about how afterward, I could have had a conversation with Russ about how bad Limp Bizkit was, how much I like Linkin Park, and how much Metallica has changed throughout the ages.

And even Saturday, as I came to Philly with my jersey friends,and friend's cousins from Turkey, I just thought about Russ. I drank a few shots in his memory, and even though by the time I known him, he had given up drinking, I knew he would appreciate the toast.

Life feels so much the same, but yet, it's just different now.

Russ-Bus passed away today. Please, click on the link. Read about him and let him live on in your memories. My thanks in advance for taking the moment to know him.

I wrote an entry in december about how I knew I wasn't ready to handle death. Today, in my worse fears and nightmares I had to deal with it.

I was right. I wasn't ready.

Right now, i'm at the point where I still think I can just run upstairs and see him sitting there playing a video game, while everyone is sitting around with him, watching him, and talking about their days. Then, russ and I will go off on a tangent away from the rest of the group, where we'll talk about some video game and how poo-poo it was.

But we can't anymore.

To think that yesterday I was oblivious to his actions, going to strip clubs, eating Geno's cheesesteaks, planning out how I was going to do my homework and organizing my weekend. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I have to say that I felt awkward that whole night.

But the tears have been shed, and now we sit, somber and still, trying as we might to go about our daily lives. But what does the future hold now with such an important person in our lives gone? There was nobody like Russell. I am willing to wager there may never be again.

Good luck Russell in whatever your future holds. You will be missed by everyone who ever had the pleasure and grace of knowing you.

My heart goes out to his family and friends who knew him longer then I, and to the exponential sorrow they must feel above mine, as great as mine may seem.

Very interesting day.

Fuck classes. We shall never talk about that unless it pertains to trivial bashing of retarded teachers who do not deserve their positions.
Or classes that suck and don't seem relevant to life.
Or classes that are shaped in such a way that they are ridiculously impossible to pass without studying. (i hate studying)

So today, went to strip club with Annie, her friends, and her brother. Strip club was rather boring. Seriously. I was happier when I found out simpsons was playing on one of the TV's. It was really more fun to see Annie and her friends' reactions. Really, they do come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Not her friends... the um... puss puss of said stripers at said strip club.

I'm really wondering though, what exactly the other room is used for. Let me explain the layout. You walk in, porn videos and walls of dildos. Then, you pay the cashier to get a wristband to get into the stripclub. The door to the stripclub is located at the back of the porn store. But, to the left of the doors, there is another room where you can pay 2 dollars to get in and do SOMETHING. Not exactly sure what that SOMETHING is. I'm thinkin either jack off boothes with movies, or maybe that's where the strippers take you if you give them a little something extra.

Came back, hung out with Jeebus and his all too friendly friend who likes having guys step on her back as a massage. I give props to any woman who can stand me standing on her body.

Women are so beautiful. Why would you ever want to be gay?

Tron and Sean's Birthday celebration.

We went to Dave and Busters and I, as usually, headed straight for Pump It Up. I'm not addicted, because I think I hit my ceiling in terms of skill levels... but, I dunno, it's just fun to jump around and burn calories. My new goal at dave and busters is to spend 1500 points. It's er... only like... um.. 400 bucks. But hey, after that I get 10% off all the games. And I figure, might as well, since I'm probably going to be spending that much money in year or two at that place. You know how many friends are going to be twenty one in two years? ALOT? Better get pumpin. (no pun intended to the game which bares the same name)

Had dinner at Dave and Busters... Reminded me alot of Fridays. Weird.

Went bar hopping. Tron and Sean got pretty buzzed. Wen drank too. I was proud that she kept up with everyone.

That's about it.

Short and Sweet.

¿MyStiFieD? Weekend Summary:

Friday: Went to jersey Thursday night, so I was already home friday. Let's see.. what did I do... Chilled with Paul and my boy Charlie who came back up after living a year in Florida. He thinks he's black now. It's kinda scary. But underneath the blackanese, it's still the same old Charlie. We watched Pirates of the Caribbean. I must say, it's a great movie. Please do consider watching it.

Saturday: Charlie again, but this time with Annie, Paul, and Ren. We were going to go see a movie (ironically, charlie's angels), but stupid jersey and their stupid movie times... we ended up just shooting pool. I whooped everyone. Charlie is pretty good at pool now.

Sunday: Charlie AGAIN. This time with Alex. Ren stopped by for a new york minute, and then his pussy whipped ass left us. So, we combined friday and saturday and went to shoot pool and watch a movie. Charlie beat me, but technically I won, since he scratched on the eight, then i scratched on the eight, and then he sank the eight. We watched League of Extrordinary Gentlemen. I must say, it's a pretty good movie. Please do consider watching it after watching Pirates of the Caribbean.

That ends this installment. Welcome back Charlie.

Can't say I missed you. But can't say I'm not glad you're back either.

Today's theme is the hulk.

I took my discrete math test today, and hulked out afterward. Refused to go to my other classes. It just didn't seem worth it to me.

Then hulked out on some video games to relieve stress.

Then almost hulked out on everyone during my night class. I was seriously just waiting for someone to piss me off so I could explode.

Came back home, and read the best hulk article ever

Please, comment on the forums about it.

Innocence.

It's the term that comes to mind when I think about how I walk through life. Though I am one who always preaches cynically of the hardships, the heartbreak and the hurt that comes from thinking idealogically, I am probably the greatest sinner.

Ignorance is bliss, or so they say. Walk through life never knowing, and one will be happier. Perhaps it is true. Then why do I always impose reality on others? Perhaps because I know of what lies after that period of bliss.

Sorrow, sadness, some kind of betrayal. Sometimes it's hard to accept the reality of things. But hopefully, with enough friendly warnings and emotional beatings, I can prevent or at least, install some sort of psychological cushion for others.

Since I have no one like myself to blatantly and bluntly shatter my ideals of reality, I end up having to absorb the force of some realities. Just today it probably happened three times.

It's really easy to get caught off guard, to open yourself to someone and then realize they may not be exactly what they said they were. I don't really consider it a bad thing. For one, it helps me to help others from going through the same troubles I went through. At the same time though, maybe people need to learn for themselves.

Maybe everyone needs to have their hopes and dreams crushed at least once. If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger. Right?

I must be really strong.

T-mobile. You disappoint me. Phone service has been disabled for the past 5 hours. As strongbad would say: The system. Is down.

Today was another day filled with classes.

Come to a couple of conclusions:

1) Drexel either has really good teachers or really bad ones. My current teacher, he might as well do problems in his head and then just say "You get what I just did?" That's basically what he does right now. There is no elaborating on his part. He just writes down some blurbs and then expects us to understand. Didn't even lay out what thursday's test would be on until I raised my hand and asked him to tell us. What kind of teacher is that?
2) Summer classes are too hot to walk to.
3) Teachers in the summer are suppose to be laid back... so why does it seem like I'm getting a buttload of work?
4) I hate school (still)

Hanna almost got me to watch The Ring today. As I told her.. it's not that i'm scared of the movie, it's just that i'm scared of what my imagination will do afterward. My over active imagination might kill me some day.

Heart attack or some shit.

Happy 12,000 daily unique hits to me. Excuse me, let me wipe the tears from my eyes.

Can't look at code anymore. I think either I really topped off and don't know how to program at a high level, or else my brain hates it so much that it refuses to work when it has to deal with code.

Checklist for tomorrow:

Finish signing up for B round interviews.
Check if I have any homework.
Pick up digital camera from the media lender place.

Short list.

Well, nobody I usually talk to is online right now. I'm gonna take the clue and just get ready for bed.

Only 7 hits until 12,000. I feel so loved.

¿MyStiFieD? Weekend Summary:

Friday: Happy 4th. Great day filled with lots of hot girls, a little gambling, one movie and an encounter with what i'd like to call the "typical korean". Girls is easy. There was the every so beautiful AC girls led by Hanna, followed by the perfectly perfect Annie, the oh so adorable Kim with her gang of cousins, and my long distance companion Wen. Gambling is easy too: I won 22 bucks. Wen won 35. Needless to say, she's going to treat me to dinner. Movie is easy too. Legally Blonde 2. I'm not gay. I just like pretending. The last one is sort of tricky. Mina met up with her rutgers Korean friends, and she tried to introduce me to them. One of them was chill and he actually said hi. But when Mina tried to get the others attention, they just flat out ignored me like I wasn't there. So i just said, in my cheeriest voice, "Oh don't worry about it, they're just being korean!"

I'm hoping I said it loud enough for them to hear. I know everyone else heard.

Oh, and some random hot spanish girl driving by in a car yell out the window "Hey sexy boy" directly at me. Yea, I didn't believe it was me either until I turned around and checked to make sure I was the only person. That made my day.

Saturday: Picked up Paul, found Ren in AC who found his brother who was with his north jersey friends. Lots of hot girls. Lots of hot taken girls with very nice boyfriends. I was sad. There was a couple cute ones of note, and I couldn't even go "ew, why's she going out with a guy like that?" because they were all so freakin cool and nice to me. Unlike the korean people mentioned above on Friday. God, the different between Korean people and Filipino people astound me.

Then went to Hanna's house, and me, tony, terry, mina, and esther sat around until 5:30 in the morning talking about our lives. I was told I was ugly, fat, had no personality, and I am below anyone's standard. At least Hanna had the courtesy to say it to my face.

Sunday: At lunch with my beautiful, kind hearted and loving Mother and then met up with Annie, Kim and her cousins and siblings for a luncheon at Friendly's. Kim was so cute I wanted to take her home and keep her. Annie was just Annie. No more or less personable then she always is to me. Lunch went smoothly, then took Annie to Hanna's house were we just chilled and talked for a little. Then drove home. Should have just let Annie sleep in the car. Didn't realize how tired she was until i found out she went home and basically passed out.

Fantastic weekend.

Up and Down rule says it can only get down from here.

See ya after 12k.

I'm so re-addicted to Diablo 2. Oh my god. This can't be healthy.

Classes today all day again. Nothing interesting to write down. Just one of those days that will be wiped from my memory, with any inkling of knowledge learned going into my subconscience. My highly active brain will then dictate when it should be used.

And that pretty much somes up my life on tuesdays and thursdays.

The rest of the days, I call freedom days.

Happy Fourth.

57 hits to 12,000. DO IT.

Went to see my co-op advisor today. She walked me through a mock interview. From what she told me at the end, I did pretty good. I just need to work on my wording. I have the right concept, I have the right intention. Only thing that really caught her attention was me telling her my future goals.

She said they shouldn't be brought up unless they could be used as a tool to help you sell yourself. I guess that was my error.

But I hardly believe ONE thing could ruin my chances at a job at the places I interviewed. I mean, I explained that I was looking for something stable that I would want to work at for a long time. My goals have nothing to do with that. They could be pipe dreams. The point of internship is to see if these other careers will spark any interest. I may change my goals based on the job.

My qualifications:

I have been on two co-ops. Both have been Internet related. I am very familiar with internet tools, languages, layouts, and audience. I know how to maintain a webpage, recreate a webpage from a template, and just flat out design a webpage if I needed to. I am very adaptable when it comes to the web. There is no concept that I can not learn given time.

I am a computer science major. My expertese lies within coding concepts, dynamics, and processes. I know how a computer works, how it functions. Based on those fundamentals, I can therefore figure out any program. I have been using windows and windows based products for the last twelve years of my life. There is no windows based program that I cannot learn and train another person in. My learning curve is very good, I only need to be shown something once before I can copy it.

I am very independant. Once I am told what to do, I will do it by myself and teach myself. I do not believe this is a hindrance, because it should not slow down the workplace given that I am a quick learning. I'm not afraid to work in groups, nor am I afraid to give my opinion.

There's alot more stuff, but I'm not going into it. If i kept it up, soon all you'd be seeing on the screen is "blah blah blah, talking about myself".

Not much happened today though, so i had to fill the space with something.

Tron is the greatest person in the world. Tron is the greatest.

He's the type of person who has always been willing to help out without really trying to get anything back in return. And regardless, even if he did ask for something in return, it is usually something that could be considered a tool for actually solidfying a friendship even more. He's a real "I got your back" kind of guy. He's willing to do whatever, as long as he's within the company of friends.

He's the kind of person you can ask to randomly go on a seven day road trip with you, and then, he'll volunteer to drive. No, i'm not making that up either. He's done it. He's the friend that'll be the first to visit you in jail, if not the one who's in jail with you. Sure, I may have borrowed that last one from an email chain letter about friends, but the shoe sure fits this jew biscuit mofo.

He's willing to share his mom and let her be the blunt of all his friend's jokes (though by now people should have realized that "Tron's mom" is not really Tron's mom). He's the one you can talk shit to at the same time you're having a deep personal conversation with. He'll share his wisdom, knowing when to be blunt, and when to stay on the gentle side.

He's the white guy you can take with you when you chill with a group of asians, and he'll impress everyone with his charming wit and delightful sense of humor, not for himself, but because he knows you'll appreciate it.

And the next day people will ask, "Where's Tron?"

And you'll smile, knowing he's only a phone call away.

So this white guy, black guy, and asian walk into a chinese restaurant. The asian guy meets up with two other asians, and the five of them talk about wrestling and video games.

They make the black guy carry the food.

That was pretty much my day. I didn't wake up until 4. And then I had class at 6. Class was horrible, with a 2 hour lab that ended up being closer to 3. Then, I conived Tron into helping me with my homework and he begged me shamelessly to hang out with him, sean, jesse and charles. We smoked some sheesha, and played a little Vampire.

Top off with a little Geno's.

Sit, and wait for fat to rise.