Throughout everyone's childhood, everyone chewed gum. There are so many types too. It started from childhood with the lowly cheap 25 cent gumballs at the grocery store, then moving to bazooka joe and Big Chew--the fake baseball player's gum of choice.

Then we grew up, and bubble yum and products like that took over.

We started blowing massively huge bubbles by chewing three or four pieces at a time. Our moms yelled at us, since a package of that type of gum was over 85 cents, and we just ate four out of the five at once. It was the gum that developed greed. We'd never share with anyone, and if more then one person asked for a piece, we split one piece in half to give to them.


Grow up even more and all of a sudden it became about having fresh breath. Tridents and Winterfresh and things like that became the gum of choice. It was easy to carry, easy to pop a piece, and ultimately, easy to share.

So why then, after all these years, does the gum of the future resemble CHICLETS of decades ago???

Dentyne Ice.


Fuckin CHICLETS.


You mean to tell me that after all these years of turning kids into gum experts that the best evolution of technology in terms of gum resembles a fucking chiclet? Are people so dumb about fads that they don't even realize they're eating fancy fucking chiclets? Why not just buy chiclets? A bulk pack is like two dollars!

Wow, the fancy pants packaging makes you pop these new age chiclates from a high tech container that resembles any over the counter drug pill. THAT MUST MAKE IT TASTE BETTER AND FRESHER. And the crunchy shell must help clean my teeth too!

After all these years, after all the trials and tribulations in the world of gum... Chiclets win.