Applebee's has this "lightning fast lunch" promo going on. You get served in 14 minutes or the meal is free.

Just my luck that Quizno's isn't open until wednesday, so we meandered over to Applebee's... only to find a tour bus filled with old people going in as well.

The waiter takes our order, sets the timer, and says "You came at a really good time, today is as good a day as any to try to get your lunch for free".

We watch the timer anxiously as the minutes counted. Seven minutes, eight minutes. The table next to us is already at Twelve. The waiter walks over telling them that they're lunch is probably free. We get excited, the clock runs to nine minutes, then ten. The waither walks out of the kitchen with plates of food, we sigh defeated, only to find out that it was for another table.

Eleven minutes, Twelve. The waiter comes over, looks at the watch, and says "Oh, i'm not even gonna bother to look if you're food is ready." Takes out the check, marks some marks on it.

We get our food 19 minutes and 8 seconds later.

Free food is good. Incredibly good.