I still miss Russ. It's funny how true the saying is. You never really appreciate something (someone) until it's (he's) gone. Russ, man, there will never be someone like you. My heart goes out to you. I can't stop thinkin about you and somehow you're always in the back of my mind. Don't have many memories with you, but the few I have, I will hold them dear forever.

I couldn't even update my blog this week because my life just seemed meaningless compared to the one that was lost.

Wednesday and Thursday was just Tribute to Russell days. We just sat around and reminisced on all the good times we had. Being together, the whole Maryland Style crew, just helped everyone to deal with the sorrow. Friends are the best. I love my friends and know they love each other.

I thought about Russ-buss on the whole drive down the EHT that night. I had to pick up my friend Jim, since we had previously planned to go to Summer Sanitarium for the last two months. Seeing Jim helped me feel better too. But like I said before, russ was always in the back of my mind.

We get to Maryland, and well, it just hit home. The memories rushed back, and it was sombering but healthy at the same time. Seeing Brian in person again felt good too. Being with my two closest friends brought me tranquility.

Friday was the concert, and I was just listening for Russ, as if my ears were his ears for the day. My eyes got watery at more then one moment, just thinking about how afterward, I could have had a conversation with Russ about how bad Limp Bizkit was, how much I like Linkin Park, and how much Metallica has changed throughout the ages.

And even Saturday, as I came to Philly with my jersey friends,and friend's cousins from Turkey, I just thought about Russ. I drank a few shots in his memory, and even though by the time I known him, he had given up drinking, I knew he would appreciate the toast.

Life feels so much the same, but yet, it's just different now.