I always wanted to get into the comedy business. Stand up would be fun. I can picture what my skit would be like:
Hi. I'm Allen. I'll be your comedian today. Let me start off by telling you a little about myself. I'm Taiwanese. Yes, Taiwanese, not Chinese, not korean, not light skinned indian. But you say, "ah, but all you asians look alike." And I say. "Yes. How very true!"
Some Asian people would argue that they could tell what ethnicity any particular asian person was by looking at them. You know, it's like white people looking at other white people and being able to tell if they're italian, scottish, german or whatever. But see, it really isn't THAT easy. White people, you have very obvious ways of telling each other apart. Freckles, red hair, thick mustaches, brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, blond hair, big noses, small noses, big chests, big breasts, bone structure. I can go on.
We asian people? *pulls eyes* All the same. *pause for laughter* Black hair, brown eyes, black hair, brown eyes. Guys have fragile frames, high cheek bones and a flat chest. Same with the girls. *pause for laughter* Ok, sometimes we have one or two confused people who bleach their hair blonde and get blue colored contacts. So... did they honestly think I or anyone else for that matter would confuse them for a white person? *pause for laughter* And we can take that a step further by talking about Asian people that actually have the world "ASIAN" tattoo'd somewhere on their body. What's next? Labels on the backs of their necks that say Made in China and Made in Singapore? Cuz you know, we need to look more like our nike shoes and gap shirts. *Pause for laughter*
*End skit*
Ok, so i don't know how funny it would be. I guess it would depend on my audience. Too white, and the jokes would go over their head. Too asian and I would have a deathwish hovering over MY head. And also, i would have to elaborate more on what I mean by certain things with body language and side comments... stuff I can't really display on this blog.
That's it for today. I'm going to think about my Made in USA tattoo.
Hi. I'm Allen. I'll be your comedian today. Let me start off by telling you a little about myself. I'm Taiwanese. Yes, Taiwanese, not Chinese, not korean, not light skinned indian. But you say, "ah, but all you asians look alike." And I say. "Yes. How very true!"
Some Asian people would argue that they could tell what ethnicity any particular asian person was by looking at them. You know, it's like white people looking at other white people and being able to tell if they're italian, scottish, german or whatever. But see, it really isn't THAT easy. White people, you have very obvious ways of telling each other apart. Freckles, red hair, thick mustaches, brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, blond hair, big noses, small noses, big chests, big breasts, bone structure. I can go on.
We asian people? *pulls eyes* All the same. *pause for laughter* Black hair, brown eyes, black hair, brown eyes. Guys have fragile frames, high cheek bones and a flat chest. Same with the girls. *pause for laughter* Ok, sometimes we have one or two confused people who bleach their hair blonde and get blue colored contacts. So... did they honestly think I or anyone else for that matter would confuse them for a white person? *pause for laughter* And we can take that a step further by talking about Asian people that actually have the world "ASIAN" tattoo'd somewhere on their body. What's next? Labels on the backs of their necks that say Made in China and Made in Singapore? Cuz you know, we need to look more like our nike shoes and gap shirts. *Pause for laughter*
*End skit*
Ok, so i don't know how funny it would be. I guess it would depend on my audience. Too white, and the jokes would go over their head. Too asian and I would have a deathwish hovering over MY head. And also, i would have to elaborate more on what I mean by certain things with body language and side comments... stuff I can't really display on this blog.
That's it for today. I'm going to think about my Made in USA tattoo.
posted by Allen M @ 3/04/2003 04:57:00 PM
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