Ok, I tried to avoid this, but I feel that I must whine and complain. Those among my adoring fans (all 10.1 of you) have probably realized that I have not been online since the beginning of the week, except from 9-5 while i'm at work. Well, let me sum this up purely and simply. I'M DYING FROM WITHDRAWAL.

I can feel my veins shriveling and my brains rotting from being devoid of processing useless internet garbage on a daily basis. Damn it man, my brain needs garbage. You know, like the deLorian from Back to the Future? Yea man, Mr Fusion-Brain needs some fuggin garbage! Holy crap, I've been feeling so empty, like part of me should be online or something. They need like a damn Nico-Net patch for people like me. Just slap that shit on my forehead so I can pretend to be on AIM all day. Why me? I need the juice. Give me the juice!

So the DSL modem came yesterday and I set it up. Unfortunately, the service has not been turned on yet, so I spent a good part of half an hour staring at the blinking service light, hoping it would turn solid. It never did. After that, I cleverly scammed my way into my friend's house to leech of his internet for a few hours. Ok, so it wasn't that clever, all I did was ask, but you're talking to an addict who didn't have his fix for a while. Anything I did at that point was clever.

After I came home, I once again felt the emptiness clawing at me like Tron's mom on a good night. But alas, there was nothing I could do. How to solve problem, how to solve? I decided to do something so prehistoric, that it could hardly be classified as technology: I started calling people.

Yea, whatever happened to the days of talking to people? The days of using three-way from multiple phones so that six people would all be trying to talk over each other? Conversations never worked, but it sure as hell was fun.

I think I switched through too many topics today. So.... good bye.

Please send me Nico-Net Patches.