Life is all about drive. No, this isn't just another random blurb about my car. Though I should probably tell you that I had a near death experience in my car today. Ok, one thing at a time, I might as well start with this. Today I had a job interview, and I was a little late leaving the house. This led me to rush a little (ie, SPEED) while on the highway. Of course, my shocks, as you know, are all blown and therefore, it feels like I'm riding on hydraulics that I can't control. All of a sudden, I hit this giant bump in the road and my car starts bouncing up and down like crazy. That's not the worst of it. I guess I was at an angle when I launched into the air, so my car was also zig-zagging back and forth while bouncing up and down. I'm sure from the outside, this would have been a very odd thing. But somehow (thank you Gran Turismo) I managed to keep control of the car for the duration of the bouncing, and I didn't kill anyone.

Those shocks are definately getting replaced ASAP.

To continue, life is all about drive. There has to be a 'wanting' when you do something. It's the reason we go to college, because we all want to be rich and powerful. And the reason we hang out with girls, cuz you know, it's not cuz we want to become FRIENDS, we just want to score. ... ... Right. So anyway, my job interview from last week has recently emailed me and asked me to show them some more examples of my internet webpage skills. Well, ok, i have some decent skills, and yes, if they hired me, I would be able to do a good job for them (And honestly, their portfolio sucks really bad). But right now, I don't have that drive to make a webpage. That's the reason I want to work for a web development company in the first place! So I'll have that DRIVE to learn. Eesh. Complicated.

Well, at least I have one or two gaurenteed jobs already. Just two more interviews to go.

Then I'll decide who gets to own my soul for six months.

My house is great. Really. I mean, sure, it gets a little dirty. We're somewhat unorganized. And yes, it seems like essentials foods are consumed by locusts since we have to buy bread and milk every other day, but hey, 5 people on one loaf? Sounds like two days to me.

But i'm serious. I think we are the most understanding of each others needs. We're also doin the whole communism thing very well.

You don't understand. Right. You see, in a normal house, chores would have to be assigned, money contributed into a general fund, and basically other idealogies to keep everyone equal. Not in this house though. We do things based on what is needed in the house. Ok, example: I buy milk. When the milk runs out, someone else will buy it. Someone buys spaghetti, someone else buys drinks, and a third person buys paper towels and cups for use. Everyone is happy! We all just contribute and nobody ever says "no, you can't use/eat/take that, cuz i bought it."

Another great example of communism at work is since central air in this house is broken, and since we all have window units in our rooms, we have come up with a system of keeping all the doors open so that the whole house stays cool.

Hell, just today, I asked everyone to be wary of keeping the lights in the house off if nobody is using them, and everyone agreed without a single argument.

I don't have much complaints. Well, yea, I have some complaints, but the good outweights the bad.

And that's how I look at life.

PS: Happy Birthday to SuperGirl. The greatest person in the whole wide world.

Everyone in some way knows what they want to be when they become an adult and go into the real world. Granted, they may never live out their dreams. Or perhaps, they set their passion aside to do things more lucrative. Or their parents told them what to do and they listened like good little children. But after all that, there is still that one thing that resides within those people, in their blood, hiding in their hearts, passing through their system and waiting for the proper time to come out. And no, I don't mean cardiac arrest.

I associate that passion to become one's real self with "mid-life crisis", but that's another story. This entry is about my passion (no shit, it's my journal), and what it means to me.

I want to be a writer. I cannot say it anymore bluntly then that. To mold a picture with words, to tell a story, to express an idea with letters arranged in a bouquet of sentences, that is my goal. I don't claim to actually have any skill in writing though, the words are just my weapons to fight my war: versus self, versus reality, and versus sanity.

But furthermore, does it make me any less of a writer because I like to put "shit", "fuck", and "holy faggot ass butt spelunker" in my works? Is it wrong to talk of parodies, and how, yes, I write for you (and your mom)? I understand that to be recognized, I would have to write seriously, since it would be proper to assume that those who are critically acclaimed are the ones who write with utmost sincerety. But what if laughter was my sincerity? What if shocking the masses was the real me? Who then, is the one to judge me and tell me my literature will be great?

Maybe i'll just write articles for playboy.

"How to shit your pants and still look good for your hottie."

My minds been streaming with concious and unconcious thoughts for a while now. Sadly, I won't express them in here. I wrote it a long time ago, and I'll write it again: We all know blogs are written for the public, so therefore, it's main purpose is for it's entertainment value. Sure, you'll get to know me; the side that everyone publicly knows, so yea, it's a good way to see my personality.

But here we go with another censored, cut, and slightly exaggerated ¿MyStiFieD? weekend:
Friday
Watch Minority Report.
Cause trouble.
Attempt to resolve Caused trouble.
Sleep at 6 am.
Saturday
Wake up too early. (1 pm)
Clean first floor of house.
Do absolutely nothing for rest of day. (What? Nobody said my life was all fun and games)
Sleep at 6 am.
Sunday
Wake up too early. (1 pm)
Attempting to clean up own room.

So yea, it wasn't that great of a weekend. Most of it happened in my head. It's an after effect of lack of oxygen.

Maybe one day i'll learn to stop holding my breath.

I still play video games. It seems like I always have. They are my escape from the real world. A moment in time when I can pause reality and concentrate on more immediate dangers to my in-game persona. Then, my mind can relax. Think about something complicated in the game, yet, in terms of reality, it is so simple. Solve the puzzle, kill the boss, wait for what's around the corner.

Much better then life, where everything is as unpredictable as rolling dice. You can only say the dice will be rolled, and only say that it's more likely to a certain number over another. It never turns out to be the way it is though.

So why am I escaping? Well, let's just say that I feel like I'm heading "down" in life again. On top of school starting again, and financial aid saying I can't get a work study cuz I didn't take advantage of it, and Co-op interviews being highly stressful, there are certain key things that are taking me down.

I can sum it up as ultimatums. I know, they are gay. Not only that, they never work. But you know, sometimes I feel like I need to make a statement, so I do it. I also hate the way that ultimatums has a negative conotation to it. I think they're really useful... but I digress.

Well, a certain person in this house has decided a certain video game is more important then doing other things. Irks me the most since he technically got me back into the other hobby. And it stings even more because that video game was originally mine. Then add the icing on top by still playing the game even though he saw me pack up and move everything to my car. I don't bluff.

Maybe now he'll read my blog and get mad at me for speaking my mind.

The other person... well, it's kinda funny. In what way? In how much we're alike. Both stubborn, both prideful, both immature, both think we're mature, both think we're right... and well, both alot of things. And the things i'm just guessin at, but it feels right to say: both don't want to be in this situation, both want to end it, but both also don't want to admit that they are wrong. Well, I don't think i'm wrong. But I don't think the other is wrong either. It's just that neither is 100% right. That in turn leads to the problem of who'll be willing to set aside their pride to work things out. I do though, think I took the first step.

So in the words of Yu-Gi-Oh: Your Move.

I like games, games are fun. Everyone plays games, everyone has their little things they do with each other to pass the time. I'm kool with it. It's fun sometimes. So if people wanna play their little games and ignore me, fine, I can play. Sadly though, I can only take so many games before I get sick of it. It's stupid. It's retarded. I don't care. I gave out my warnings. I said to stop. I stopped myself. I waited. I tried again. Strike two. I stopped indefinately. I waited. I tried again. Strike three.

Just like baseball. Don't think i'm hasty to jump to conclusions or anything. I've stated many times that it was annoying, but I still played along.

But i'm done. Ask anyone who cares, I can erase anyone from my memory and pretend they don't exist. It's easy. So if the game needs to be played, it's going to be like this: You play for real, or you never play it again.

It's such a stupid way of ending everything. Is it really what you want?

The choice is up to you.

Am I opinionated? I think I am. Hell, even the act of thinking myself opinionated is an opinion, so I MUST be opinionated (makes sense to me). Yea, so i am. But is that a bad thing? Well, considering i'm a hypocrite (see sidebar), nobody should really hold it against me for anything I say. I mean, so what if I think eating that new super double chocolate candy bar is nasty and i'd never eat it. I probably will try it... in like, 3 months from now when I'm suddenly in a mood for super double chocolate-ness.

And also, if you say you are a hypocrite, then when you are doing something hypocritical, aren't you really NOT being a hypocrite? Cuz technically, you are doing EXACTLY what you said you would, which was doing the opposite of whatever you said in the first place. But I guess for that to fully be true, you would have to do the opposite of everything you said.

"I'm not going to the bathroom ever!" *as he goes to the bathroom*
"I won't say goodbye to you." *never talks to you again*
"Your mom is hot!" *she's fugly like a cow with no face.*

Welp, at least I still haven't ever smoked weed yet. Don't really want to. Don't really care to.
And still haven't gotten a tattoo, nor any part of my body pierced.
Considering, though, that these are the three things that my mom has asked me never to do (and they are the ONLY things i'm not allowed to do, mind you), i'm pretty sure I can keep her faith in me.

Super Double Chocolate, here I come.

First day of classes done. It was kinda like an all you can eat buffet. Except, replace good food with shit nobody likes, and then, instead of volunteering to eat the food, they just force it down your throat. So yea, it was kinda like an all you can eat version of a chinese water torture chamber.

Drip drip drip.

Kinda like this one guy in my Discrete Math class. Holy CowRun, Batman, he was the epitomy of skanky nerd-dom. He thought he was so kool cuz he know what a bilinear quadratic multiplexor super triple scoop of vanilla icecream digits were. Alright, so i made that up, but it had something to do with quadratics, that much is truth. Anyway, he freakin sat in front of me with his big head all up in my view. Sure, that's not SO bad, but when you fuggin scratch your head and all this shit falls out of it, that's pretty bad. To make it all extra flaky (pardon the pun), he scratched with his grimey ass nails that are bitten all the way through so his fingers looked stubbier then they already are. And THEN proceed to try to bite even more of it. Oh, and that's not all he scratched. Like his neck, and... i couldn't tell, but perhaps he was picking a scab off his back? Cuz he took a few minutes to examine the contents of his treasure hunting.

Yuck.

So ends the rant.

Wow, what an amazing company.
I hope one day soon I'll have the honor to work here
Look at their portfolio. And the people were so great. Thank you Kristen and Christian for showing me that working can also be FUN. Please please please take your time when considering me for the internship. Refinery.com would be my dream come true.

I guess sending flowers and a box of candy would be too much, eh? Yea, i'll just send them Thank You cards.

*Step Two*

Blah.. tomorrow, I have class from 11 AM to 9:30 PM. Shit. I don't know how else to say it. SHIT. Seriously, when I planned my schedule, I didn't even realize that I'd be killing myself. Yes, little ol' me loves his torture. Agonize me with your boring lectures and bond me with your boring homework assignments (that I won't do anyway). Yea, well, when you plan your schedule, and it screams "FOUR DAY WEEKEND" at you, you'd not realize the torture god standing over your head going "Mu-ha-haaaa" either.

All i have to say is bring it. I only got one letter for you, baby.

"ZzZZzzzz..."

Hot Import NIghts in Atlantic City was a tiring success. Well, success in the sense that they suckered me out of 25 dollars for a day of standing around, looking at a handful of cars, and not even having the decency to have a few good looking models. Seriously, it's pretty sad when the girls who are spectating look better then the girls who are modeling.

Things to remember for next year's HIN:

1: Turn 21 and get a membership at a casino, just for the cheap parking that comes with it. (Parking was 10 bucks)
2: Don't worry about buying tickets ahead of time. (Will Call line was longer then the actual ticket line)
3: Eat before going in. (Food was butt expensive)
4: Organize and meet friends BEFORE going in. (cellphone service was bad cuz of electronics... we spent 80% of the time looking for everyone else)
5: Soop up car, and put it in the show with own good looking models.

It was an interesting night though. The most exciting part of it all was before going in and after leaving. This is when you see the real world cars that are hooked up. You know, the ones who hooked their shit up, but do not enter their cars. These are the cars that are actually on the street driving around everyday. I'm not saying that the cars in the show aren't daily drivers... but you have to admit alot of those cars are trailered in and never see real pavement.

*Now for a moment of intrinsic ranting*

HIN made me lonely. I don't know in what sense though. To see HOT girls walking around with their boyfriends really made me want to have a girl to walk around with. And the skanky outfits were such a nice touch. Alright, that sounded sarcastic. Basically what i'm trying to say it, it made me want a girl who would cling onto me for no reason, and who isn't afraid to dress sexy. Shows that they are comfortable with themselves, and if they look good, mad props to them. I mean, you don't even have to be beautiful... there were some girls who people would think were ugly.. but the confidence they showed made them really really hot.

So top three things Mystic wants in a girl now:

1) Hug me for no reason other then you want to.
2) Instead of talking on the phone with me for three hours, get up and visit me in person for an hour.
3) Wear a thong and be comfortable with showing it.

It may seem shallow and whatever... but those actions say ALOT to me.

So how about it?

I was talkin to my friend today, and I was teasing her about the dating game... and I ended up going into a rant.

And since that's what this blog is all about, I decided I'd post part of it (the interesting part), and let you have a taste of my bittersweet brain at work:
Editted to Protect the Innocent

Mystic511: asian people are just weird.
Mystic511: and i say that without fear of retribution cuz i'm asian too.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: lol.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: americanized whitewashed bannana?
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: jkjk
Mystic511: that's me!
Mystic511: =D
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: haha. thought so
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: hm. so why are they wierd?
Mystic511: white people don't play the same games asian people do.
Mystic511: it's simple.
Mystic511: smile, have a drink together, be cute, and then sleep together.
Mystic511: easy as pie.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: haha.
Mystic511: it takes asian people 3 months to hold hands.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: so you would prefer which style of relationship?
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: hah
Mystic511: i'm not sayin i like the white version... but you know, something in the middle would be nice.
Mystic511: i mean, having the mentality that your significant other is going to be the person you'll marry is just wrong.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: agreed
Mystic511: if a person is thinkin like that.. then they shouldn't even bother playing the game
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: true true
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: =)
Mystic511: blah, i'm blabbering
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: so if you say you don't play the "game" does that mean you're waiting for the girl to marry you ?
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: i mean, when you fall in love?
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: it's 130AM my mind's jumbled too
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: =P
Mystic511: i'm sayin that i've accepted the fact that even if that was what I wanted... it won't happen.
Mystic511: and thinkin like that keeps me from getting hurt.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: oh icic. =)
Mystic511: and if it does, then it'll be a surprise.
Mystic511: and positive surprises are always nice.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: :-) hehe. niccce
Mystic511: and i'm tired of hearing about girls talk about how they want a guy to take care of them and treat them nice and wipe their asses for them.
Mystic511: never once have i heard a girl go.. oh well, i love him so much that *I* want to take care of HIM and treat HIM nice and wipe HIS ass for him
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: LOL
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: how about equal wiping
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: shiet
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: mutuality is kinda hard to find?
Mystic511: can't happen.. cuz guys and girls are inherently unequal.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: eh. who knows.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: lol. so which gender is the stronger?
Mystic511: it doesn't matter
Mystic511: i'm just sayin that girls wanting equality is a double standard.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: eh. there's no such thing as equality.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: i believe
Mystic511: and it's not that they want to be equal.. it's that they want to think they are BETTER but they'll settle for being equal.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: HAH
Mystic511: and you know it's true.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: lol. depends on what is "BETTER"
Mystic511: but if i challenged a girl to a fist fight, i bet she'll scream how unfair it is cuz she's a GIRL.
Mystic511: you can't have both, buddy.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: yep exactly, depends on the situation.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: hehe.
TooPolite2TellMe2Shutup: and what exactly is it relative to

*After this, said girl pretends to be sleepy to avoid hearing anymore of young Mystic's ranting.*

It was a completely random conversation, as you can see. One of those, shit, it's 1:30 am and I'm just thinking about random things.

*You're just so random aren't you? Mister "I'm just so random"*

Stupid pedestrians. Who freakin crosses the street and looks RIGHT first? And who freakin crosses the street without looking while having a dog with them? And it was a GIRL too, yea, you know what i'm sayin. Only a female would have the capacity for that moronic action.

And me being nice, I brake for her and even swerve away from her. And instead of being smart, and pulling her dog back onto the curb, she just holds it there in the middle of the road so it can get run over. After that, she proceeds to yell at me with her ugly face (yes, she was as fugly as the dogshit on the bottom of my shoe) like *I'm* the one who did something wrong.

Jeez, I should have just aimed at her and made sure the dog stayed alive.

Then again, it's hard to tell which one was the bitch.

Life is NOT a fucking soap opera drama for you to sit back and watch. It's not one for you to participate in either. Don't let life become a drama. Don't let it run your life to the point where it's an addiction and you actually feel the NEED to create it. I say that to no particular person, because I believe everyone has a tendency to create chaos. Chaos Theory says that. Well, no, chaos theory says that anything can happen... but still, you know what I mean. I don't think people really want to be happy.

Like my friends said last night: They don't want a relationship, they just want the beginning parts... "the chase", when they are finding out if the like the other party and vice-versa. Yea, but nobody likes to get hurt.

Days of Our General Egg Harbor Lives. Take Two.

Saw a show yesterday on MTV. I forget the name, but basically it was a show where they dared you to do something and enticed you with money... basically trying to prove that money can make a person do anything.

One of the things that you had to do, lure a mouse into your mouth with food, and then pick it up with your mouth for 100 dollars. Shit... i'd do that in a heartbeat. Remember, being a hooker is only worth 100 bucks... so put a mouse in your mouth for a bill, or get fucked by a dirty old man. Hmm.. tough choice (no really, it is!).

And you ever wonder how you met people? I mean sure, there are certain people who you indefinately remember how you met because of the circumstances in which you met them (damn, that girl is hot, let's be friends). But i'm sure everyone chills or hangs with somebody that they aren't really sure how they met. Have you ever said "I dunno, one day we just started chillin together"? Well, maybe you should go talk to those people and figure out how you met them, just because it would give you something to do.

You wanna bond?
Superglue, buddy. Superglue.

Fuck this shit, I just wrote a long ass journal entry and it didn't even publish.

Fuck you Blogger, you suck.

Fuck it, i don't even feel like writing what I wrote about, but feel free to read my post from a couple days ago that Blogger didn't fucking publish either.

Fuckin bullshit.

You're so lucky you're a free service.

This is my econ midterm:

*kick* *punch* *dragon uppercut* *Super Quasi-moto bell sonic fireball of instant destruction*

*Flawless Victory*

Heh... well, alright, maybe I didn't do THAT good, but for a two hour final.. and only needing thirty five minutes to finish it... sure felt like I did. Like I always say, i either did really good or really bad. It's never in between.

Kinda like my life. It's either in the Up or the Down. Just to let you know, recently I've been in the Up. Haven't really written about it, because I didn't want to jinx myself.

Sure, I lost my turbo, and it seems like everything went down hill for a while.. But... for some reason or another.. I feel in perfect harmony with myself... or maybe it's just too much super-glue fumes from the miniatures.

Well, after the final, I took a nap... and woke up and started playing this game. God damn... who knew that six letters.. SIX letters could make so many friggin words? I mean jeez, i feel like the game is promoting dyslexia or something... yet, I can't stop. Talk about addictions.

Like I need anymore of THOSE.

Tron Bon's away message: final final.

He's so clever.

*****

But anyway, not much has happened last night. Unless you count those 10 hours of sleep and possibly 9 hours of pure perfect happiness in dreamland that I don't remember. It seems to make sense that I would be happy in my dreams though. I never wake up in a cold sweat... or have to change my underwear... so i can only assume that I'm happy.

Shit. Now I forget what I was going to really write about. Ah well.

So where are you people who read about my life? I've only heard from a couple of you. I still would really like you to contact me and say hi.

This is my story.

Ah finals week. That glorious week where putting a rope around your neck, tieing one end to a heavy weight and throwing yourself out the window seems like such a good idea!

Me personally though, I haven't done much studying. The painting off miniatures has gotten quite obsessive. Luckily, I only have three finals this term (dropped one class, and sociology didn't have a final). Tomorrow night is going to be a cruncher, followed by another night of crunchy. And no, this time it isn't just Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Haaa.. i'm so funny.

I keep telling everyone I need a headset for my cellphone.. but I guess this will do.

Happy Birthday to my mom, who turned a beautiful 24 this year. (just like last year and the year before).

Now, the source of all my pride and joy for this week:


Ha, and you thought it was going to be my car.

Today was GREAT. Haha, it had to be the most spectacular display of chaos I've seen in the longest time. Ok, so I guess a little backstory is in order, but i'm tired as hell so i'm just going to do one of my ¿MyStiFieD? summaries:

Friday night, house is throwing a party. My friend Hanna calls me to chill. We go eat, the party commences. We decide to go to a Korean place... don't remember the name, all i know is it sounds like "Stoo Pid" or something.

Someone in the gorup gets drunk off her ass, I don't do much better myself. But I always sober up fast as hell--she doesn't.

The night begins to resemble my hometown of EHT's drama, which I proudly call, Days of Our General EHT Lives. One girl starts crying, the other girl does too, then the guy starts flipping out for a little bit, then the ex of one shows up and they start crying all over again. I'm just sitting there laughing my ass off... it's like watching a TV show.. you just can't change the channel.

Chaos resumed on the way back home, when one decided to throw up on the side of the road. Because of my awesome luck, a cop just so happened to be behind us. And as the story goes:

Officer: Is everything ok?
Me: Yea sir, she's just a little car sick.
Officer: Been drinking a little?
Me: *silent, pretending to look after the sick*
Officer: It's ok, you can tell me.
Me: Nah, seriously, she's just car sick. Thanks for stopping though!
Officer: *Silly I know you're doing something illegal but I can't prove it look*
Me: *watches him go back to the car* Have a good night!... *to sick girl* I told you not to eat that sushi!
Officer: *Pulls away slowly, trying to see if he can spot anything to pin us on*

Then the poor and twisted minded sick girl decided to pass out all over the place.

Well, this entry is getting a little too long for my tastes, so fast forward. After that bit of chaos, I finally stop to examine the aftermath of the house party. The kitchen is a mess, the outside of our house is splattered with half filled cups of beer, my bathroom looks like someone bled all over the place and then decided to rip the curtains straight off the hinges. Yesss, showering for the world to see, just my style.

So yea, moral of the story.

Don't drink, drive, throw up, and have the same thing happening at your own house.