Found this article today, and it did a great job at revitalizing my urge to become a Webcam Girl:

Aug. 13, 2001 | One of the favorite gifts that Charisma, 17, has gotten from a fan of her Web site was a "Fantasia" DVD trilogy. It was just what she wanted, because she'd asked for it on her Amazon.com wish list.

But that's nothing compared to the loot that a fellow "cam girl" friend has raked in off of hers: "Somebody bought her a really nice digital camera, a graphing calculator and a $100 gift certificate," Charisma says. Sheila, 18, got a new $129 webcam, while "Katneko," 19, raked in teen reading classics like "Catcher in the Rye," "Of Mice and Men," "To Kill a Mockingbird," plus a Depeche Mode CD, a scanner and a $250 gift certificate to the site Fetish Factory.

I took some webcam pics in London.. heh.. if you're lucky, i'll make a page and post it up.

My housemates have come to the realization that most of our humor consists of gay jokes. That means we call each other homo, or we make gay references, or talk about someone getting violated in some way. (The other way we go about it is to talk about someone's Mom... mind you, it's all in good fun and nobody gets offended).

To which one of my housemates said, "so wait... all of the stuff we laugh at is about gay jokes? That's so..." And I interjected and said "Gay?"

*Burst of laughter from all those present*

And it's not like we're gay or even, homophobic. It's just that in our natural development of becoming friends, we just call each other gay.

Well, i guess i'll breakdown all those involved and describe them.

Tron: Das Elfmaster. "Sure, we'll play that game... and Tron's mom too"

Mary: The Fairy. "HA. HA. Mary's a Fag."

Jeff: No nickname. "Stop being homo... like Jeff."

Skippy: <--- that is his nickname. "Skippy would you like some sausage?" (say it like Freddy Got Fingered)

Me: Me. No specific example. I'm pretty much destroyed all the time.

Yea, so if by chance you ever come over, and we start calling you a homo or making sexual implications at you, don't get too offended, it's all in good fun.

Like your mom last night.

I am touched and upset at the same time by this little except from a song by Devotion:

In a dream I hold you close
Embracing you with my hands
You gazed at me with eyes full of love
And made me understand

That I was meant to share it with you
My heart my mind my soul
Then I open my eyes
And all I see reality shows I'm alone...

But I know someday that you'll be by my side
Cause I know God's just waiting till the time is right

God will you keep her safe from the thunderstorm
When the day's cold will you keep her warm
When the darkness falls will you please shine her the way
God will you let her know that I love her so
When theres no one there that she? not alone
Just close her eyes and let her know
My heart is beating with hers

- Devotion. My Prayer.

I am touched, because that is how i feel about my non-existant other half. But at the same time, I am upset, because I have bits and pieces of a poem that I was trying to write that basically says the same exact stuff.

There's no way I can beat a song. And now I have to throw away my whole poem to avoid getting destroyed by peers and the public.

Devotion, you are great. Too great.

My friend Tron is celebrating Passover. So for all you jews, happy passover and enjoy your jew-biscuits. And jeez, don't get offended, because if my jewish friend can take it lightly, so can you.

Today was a fun day. I saw people I hate to love and love to hate, and then a mix of everything in between. It made me happy to be back at Drexel, to be back with peers who have at the least, one thing in common: Lunch time after classes.

Now comes my test to see if I will truly study like I wanted to do. So far, it's lazy=1, study=0.

You may love me for my blog, but so does my laziness.

I never knew how addicted I was until today.

Two things: Food and Internet.

Internet has kept me glued to the computer all day. I didn't do anything that I wanted to do, and I just finished my laundry at 2:30 am. Of course, i don't have class until 11, so i'm pretty well off, but the part that worries me is I do not know if i have any homework that is due tomorrow. And frankly, i don't feel like checking.

And on food, i think I ate five meals today. Maybe by the end of summer i'll become a walking blob of jiggly fat.

Yes. That would be kool. (note: sarcasm)

At this time (see above), i have FINALLY back online.

Did you all miss me? no? yea, didn't think so.

Well, while I was away, some stuff happened. Actually, I tried to start an offline blogger that I knew i would eventually post on here when i got back.

And here it is:

Saturday, March 23, 2002

I decided that since Internet won’t be here for a LONG time, I might as well keep my faithful blogger fans (all 2.3 of you) informed as to my daily life.

Well, most of the week has been an utter void of nothing, so therefore any journal entries that I would have written would just be mindless contemplation based on how much nothingness really existed.

Some examples off the top of my head:

Why playing video games during the day pisses me off because of the sunlight glare that never goes away.

How the paint on the wall seems to be yellow even though it is white.

How when you are alone, you do not want to do crap, but when you are with people, you do not want to do crap either. Then again, it is probably due to me being really lazy.

*End mindless examples*

Now to explanation on why I did not start to keep on offline journal earlier. That is because it all started Wednesday. My friend Jeeves said that he scheduled an appointment for the cable modem to be installed that day from 12-4 pm. Of course, I woke up at 2 pm, being pretty sure that if someone was at the door, I would have heard it. At least, I hoped that I would have heard it.

Then, 5 pm rolls by, and still no word. That gave me the initiative to call the cable modem company and ask why they did not come. It turns out that the cable guy came on TUESDAY. That sucked. Why? Because I was not at the house. I was back home in jersey making pow-wow with my old friends.

So why didn’t you start it after that, you say? Because I forgot. Duh.

But today, this very Friday was a fairly interesting experience. Food, games, and an all around good time was promised by the host. And gladly, that is what I got. The regulation size pool table is what enticed me the most to go. Needless to say, do NOT go to someone else’s house and bring your own pool stick. Everyone was out for my blood.

Four wins to one lost (the loss provoked my retirement, yes, losing makes one want to stop playing).

There were other interesting things that happened that night, but I won’t relay it. Mostly because I do not know who reads my journals these days, and yea, of course, it’s about people.

And we all know I don’t talk about other people unless it concerns my own self.

**************

Ok ok... so it was only one entry. Well, like i said in my Offline Blog, it would have most likely been mindless stuff.

So now i'm back. And with a mind.

Sue me.

For all you bitches that used to say I think about my car too much, well, I can finally say I don't. Yes, I've actually been thinking about other stuff besides my car. It's probably because for now, i feel pretty complete about what I want to do with my car, and I'm actually in the works to do it. And the other reason is, I'm so in debt for the Turbo that i'm buying for the car that I don't think I could afford to think about my car anymore. I think i'm actually just concentrating on stuff like eating and you know, having money in my pocket.

No, actually I am not poor, at least, not on paper, but it's to the point where i don't control my money anymore, and my money controls me.

I just want to be happy. Leave me alone.

Ever have that feeling of being inspired to write, and then having no idea what to write? No? well, it's kinda like wanting to take a shit and then nothing coming out. And you just sit there, thinking about it, forcing it to come into existance, but it never does. Then you get up, all frustrated, and zip your fly.

So this blog is dedicated to nothing, just like much of my blog. It's kinda like my day, filled with nothing. I wake up, look at the time, and try to go to sleep again. I usually don't have a reason to wake up, but you know, when you sleep for 16 hours, your body usually just goes "get the fuck up", and what else can you do but comply?

Then usually I go on the comp, check my email, chat on aim, go on the car forums, think about my car, etc etc, but lately I can't do any of those, since I have limited access to the internet. Hopefully by wednesday the cable modem guy will really put in the stuff and I can once again become a blog posting whore.

So for now, these days are filled with nothing. I think about places to go and come up with nothing. I think about things to do in the house, and I come up with nothing. I'll go and watch TV, and realize that nothing interests me. I'll try to find someone to call, and nobody will come to mind. Even things I eat, sometimes it tastes like nothing (which is a good reason why i've eaten a total of three different things in my past ten meals.)

I want to fill the void, so I turn toward my car. She's all i have, and frankly, I want to believe she's all I really need.

Life has a way of twisting on me, and things of nothing become things of everything.

We'll see though.

So this weekend I learned a couple things:

Don't invite friends up to chill if you didn't really plan anything to do with them.
Don't make plans with more then one person at a time, or you'll really find yourself struggling.
Don't go to someone's birthday party and not say Happy Birthday to them.
Don't underestimate how true six degrees of seperation really is.
Don't plan your budget and then find out you really really still need money.

yea, i learned alot. Mostly I learned that withdrawal from the internet sucks.

Sold my springs... phew, that's a great load off my back, knowing that i bought the wrongs springs.. but i'm glad i could get rid of them so fast.

Heading back to philly tonight, contemplating selling my 1 ghz p4 laptop. any takers? 700 bucks. That's all i want.

It's not that i hate it, but i'd rather have the money for other things that I feel are more important to me at the moment. Sure, it's been fun having internet wherever there is a phoneline for me to use.. but blegh, you know what i could do with 700 bucks?

EAT!

I have hope that everything will work out. No, i don't hope that everything will work out. I just have hope. It's really two different concepts, because i'm not wanting things to work out, i just know that if i continue on my actions, everything will work out, or so i hope.

Confused? no. ¿MyStiFieD? yes.

In the girls department, things are getting weird. I'm not going to comment on it, because i don't want to jinx myself (plus, these days i have no idea who reads my blog). I just have more hope that things will work out.

And life will go on, and hope will keep me alive. So it goes, so it will.

Till death do us part.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.. don't really have the internet at the moment.

But i'd like to call this week hell week. Why? i'll tell you why:

Cable modem was suppose to be installed monday, but the cable lines in old ass philly are messed up, and they have to fix them. Earliest they said this would be done was one week. I'm guessing more around one month.

I got my lowering springs for my car, but the guy lied and they are for the wrong model of my car. I hate people who lie. But it's ok, I have a few buyers that are offering me a little more then what i paid for.

I'm trying to sell my ugly ass stock rims that I was using for winter. It sucks even more because I just bought two new tires for them, so i'm trying to cut my losses and at least break even on the new tires.

I don't have any money.

I need money.

I can't find a job because i havent' looked.

I don't really want to work either. But i have to.


Hell week will continue to bring me agony.

You know, i always thought I was the only person in the world who was an Observer. You know, the kind of person to sit back and watch somebody else fuck up first, and then write a blog about it so that all my fans (all 2.1 of you) could learn from the dumbass' mistake and not repeat it.

Well, I was wrong. I'm not the only one. This guy is too.

Go to his "Plans Archive" and read all about how girls are evil, how to tell a girl doesn't like you, and if girls and guys can really ever be friends. (haven't read that one yet, but my guess is no.)

All you guys will really appreciate this webpage.. and well, all you girls can find out just how much you suck.

Thanks Scott for writing down everything I usually vent about, but never coherently enough to turn it into an article.

I was just talking to my friend Juan, something I do alot, but not so much recently. I forgotten how fun it is to contemplate with him. You know, deep conversations and stuff that you usually don't have with any person, let alone another guy.

But I was mentioning how I was "good" and he asked why. At first I was a little boggled, because most people don't usually ask why out of nowhere when you tell them you're doin good, but he got me thinking (Sly little filipino). And I realized that I've been doin really good recently because I haven't really been held down or boggled/baffled by girls in a really long time. My world used to revolve around plotting the demise of some young lady (and failing miserably), but now, it seems to mostly revolve around my car:

Mystic511: my mind is so clear nowadays though
Mystic511: mostly cuz i don't think about girls anymore
Mystic511: i know thinkin about my car is kinda superficial.. but it's really made me stress free
Glabro: That's good, man. Are you feeling freer?
Glabro: And I think about women too much. Specific ones.
Mystic511: in a way freer.. but i'm kinda bound to my car. but that is good in itself, because at least i feel like i'm doing something for myself
Mystic511: instead of doing it for others without any real gain.
Glabro: Well, as long as you feel that you
Glabro: are gaining from it.
Mystic511: like, i wash and waxed my car the other day... 3-4 hours of work. tired as hell. but it felt good to see my car all shiny.
Mystic511: didn't need to hear a thankyou or anything. didn't need confirmation from anyone else

Yup, that's how i feel. I'm finally serving myself through my car. It's something I never really have done. I always lived for other people, did things for other people, helped other people, gave things to other people, went out of the way for other people.. and etc etc. But now, I'm doing things for my car, and that really is just an extension of me.

So what if it's expensive. In the end, so are girls.

Man, i was hoping I was to the point that when I skipped out on writing a blog for a day, people would start sending me hate mail. Damn it. How come i don't have any stalkers? All the other webcam girls do. It's just not fair. (for those that know what i'm talking about, i give you mad props for reading my blog for so long without dying.)

So yesterday I went to Rockville's Barnes and Nobles and hung out with Glacius and Dualgen two. Both of them have mean machines with Stage 2 Front Mount Intercooled Turbos. And, Dualgen called out one of his friends, who also has a Stage 2, but this guy had the greatest mods on his car. I loved them. He was a really nice guy too and he really did encourage me to soop up my car.

Now i just have to get my rims fixed. Ug. Hoping and praying, damn it. Hoping. And praying.

Ok, that's it.

*reality check*

Time to burst my own bubble and realize that one little blurp in my friend's PoD does not make me a famous person. And the PoD does nothing more then to make me crazier in terms of wanting to soop up my car. Bad PoD . Bad bad bad.

*end reality check*

Today, *gasp* i actually picked up reading material that i had that WASN'T about cars. (This is when everyone stands up and cheers for me at Car Addicts Anonymous). I'm crazy. I know. But i seriously have a right to be.

The PoD said it best. I spend more money on my car then any guy would spend on their girlfriend. You should be fucking jealous. But it's like this: Who's there for me in the morning to take me to work? Who looks DAMN good anytime of the day? Who gets other girls jealous when they see me?

All those can be answered with my car.

Yes, that's the final straw that broke the camel's back. I've nothing left to cling in life to except for a material thing.

Show me a girl who can be faithful and caring and deserves the attention that I can give... and i'll show you a wedding ring.

Alright. I'm famous!

*does happy dance*

You know, when one gets plugged, they usually plug back. Well, sometimes they don't. But we call those people assholes. I'm definately not an asshole. (Depending on who you talk to.)

The colaboration of a single mind of a non-wharton student (which is amazing in itself), has come up with possibly the greatest idea in the world--POD. That of course being short for Picture of the Day. His name is Frank. But no, he's not as kool as me.

But anyway, to sum up the PoD.... you know how people get bored and click on other people's aim profiles to read about their lives? (like my 1.2 fans?) well, same idea. Except his is way more popular then my blog anyday of the week since he deals with making fun of other people, and I mostly just deal with making fun of myself.

See how that works out?

See his PoD here.

And go here, and find me under 3/3/02.

You'll never see me in such a compromising position ever again. So enjoy it.

Shit happens.

That's the way life is. When you watch the news, and you see victims all over the place, you feel bad. But usually it's pretty easy to sum it up in the above two words.

It's really hard to understand it, and usually those two words just help you to find your answers. But now I know that's just an escape. Considering how I feel right now, knowing that my friend Jeff's innocent friend had his face shot off by an FBI agent, I seriously do not want to try to empathize with what more immediate friends and families feel at the moment. I don't think i'd be able to handle it.

The article that i'm talking about.

I think today will be my somber day as I try to cope and relate to all the senseless acts of violence in the world. And we'll see how the legal system deals with this one. It's not so easy to brush off. It's not so easy to just say "damn, that's fucked up" and go do something else. It's really close if you think about it. Next time, it could be someone you know. It's all a matter of time.

And shit... I bet that FBI agent isn't going to get a good night's sleep for a long time.

Today is fontaine's birthday. Everyone, all together now: "Happy Birthday Fontaine!"

So now, for a quick ¿MyStiFieD? version of

Fontaine, the girl we all know and love. (and who if you don't know, you will know know and love. or else.):

Fontaine is now 19 on March 4, 2002 and therefore has been buying cigarettes, buying lottery tickets, getting lapdances, going clubbing, voting for your favorite politician and many many other things for a whole year. How much of that did she actually do? probably not that much, but still, it's the fact that she COULD that counts.

She of course, still cannot get drafted because she is a woman. And who said woman don't get privilages. And then there are woman who actually COMPLAIN cuz they don't get drafted during wars. Can you say psycho?

But Fontaine, aka Silly Rabbit is the bestestest person I know, especially since she pretends to care about me when I go blabbering on about cars and other things. If she were here on the east coast, I'd fall madly in love with her and be her personal slave for the rest of my life. Especially if she continued pretending she cared.

One of two people (of four) on the west coast that actually gave me an xmas present, she deserves some praise and credit, and definately a plug on her webpage. See it here.

Lastly, do not IM her unless you want to be tallied as one of her many many stalkers. Me being number 1. And number one means I have a right to kick your ass for stalking her too. Don't push me.

So there. Happy Birthday Fontaine.

May all your birthdays be joyous and filled with love and care.

And of course, lots of money and presents.

Well, thank you Thung1234 for crashing my blog with him wanting to show me his webpage. Please feel free to IM him and harass him. and maybe you can crash his computer and make HIM lose 30 minutes worth of work.

So shit. I forget what i was talking about.

Something about me never being able to afford my dreams on my car. And me listing how much money I spent while on work that isn't car related.

Like so:

Digital Camera: $400
Plane Ticket to London: $400
Money spend in London: $500
Total money spent on magazines: $250 ($40-50 a month)
Misc Money spent on things like video games and stuff: about $200
Total money spent on rent: $800 (two months were paid by parents)

considering i have been working since november... That means I've made about 7300 by the time i leave.
Now considering that i've spent about:
Stock rims: $330
Brake Light: $40
LED for dash: $10
Pulley: $155
Motor mounts: $25
Lowering Springs: $140
Intake: $100
Exhaust: $70
¿MyStiFieD? Decal: $40

That means that I SHOULD have about... $3690...

Well. I don't. I only have about $1200.

That means I spent about 14 bucks for every day that I've been here for the past 180 days on CRAP. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Food, drinks, gas, cigs, and whatever else that is disposable.

Shit.

Here are just some comments I woke up to after sleeping 14 hours last night:

"Holy crap that's a long diary entry. YEESH."

"touching story about your mom. she better be rollin' in a benz when u start workin'.....i liked the weblog link.....and yeah...why the heck does everyone suddenly have a weblog? weird.... later"

"hey"
"Auto response from Mystic511 (8:43:53 PM): guess what this is? Vroooooooommmmmmm *PSHHH* vroooooooommm *PSHHH* vrooooommm *pshhh* it ain't no vacuum cleaner."
"hahah well if u want that sound Im about to post Im selling turbo kit"

and of course:
"gnite"

But the strangest one of all was this one that was emailed to me: "re: feb 27 ----- (dont believe anything i say)

the second i read that joke i thought it was black........black black black black........i dont see ur reasoning why it would be assumed white....personally, i dont think white people are capable of pulling a funny one...then again, maybe i had assumptions somehow that ur a philian and that u ride the septa and i only believe black people ride it from personal experience.....::shrug::...also, i dont think its right to assume black people do not want to go to work....around 2/3 of govt welfare goes to white people...black black black black......still a funny line....ooooooh, the phat shit is that in montreal the door opens before the subway stops.......aight, werD up to the page and maybe i'll finish it after i drink a cup of coffee and finish up on integrals.....peaCe "

I still can't tell if this was a compliment, a flame, or just random thoughts. In the same regards, i can't tell if he's for or against busting on white people. Well, i'm just waiting on his reply now to see if things are fixed. Wouldn't want to lose a reader on a technicality. (Out of all 1.9 of you.).