Ads in the personal section that you will never see (though people like that do exist):

Wanted: One sexy girl with big boobs and a nice body who can spend all my money on anything she wants as long as she listens to every word that I say. Brains not needed.

Wanted: Man who will pretend to love me and lead me on so that I will believe he really cares for me. Hitting me is optional, as it shows that he really wants me to understand his needs.

Wanted: Man with luxury sports car worth more then $100,000. Personality unnecessary.

Wanted: Slutty woman (who doesn't care about settling down) to sleep with and maybe take out on days where I want to show off.

Wanted: Renegade badboy who will provide a romantic thrill. Stable relationship optional.

Wanted: Nice guy who I lead on, who'll treat me like the world but will never get more then friendship from me.

Wanted: Guy who I can become obsessively in love with, though he treats me like nothing.

Wanted: Woman who I can stalk, who'll avoid me at all cost, yet I think she's just playing hard to get.

Yea.. you never see want ads for those kinds of relationships.. but then.. why do you see those same scenarios every day?

Remember kids, what people say and what people do will always be two totally different things.