Haha, it is now official. I have two (count em, TWO) adoring fans. Yes, yes. This guy IMs me out of no where, and starts running through a list of compliments. He loves my blog but I was slightly scared that he was infatuated with me until he told me he wasn't gay. Thank god. The last thing I need is another guy hitting on me. Gay people love me for some strange reason. Am I gay? Do I act gay? I mean, geez, what part of "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT" sounds gay?

Great, now all my gay readers are going to boycott my blog. There goes half my loyal fanbase. (for those of you that are really gay, i'm just joking, so please read my blog. For real, there's nothing wrong with being gay... just try not to look too obvious when you're undressing me with your eyes in public).

So yea, this dude thinks i'm some kind of guru. Shit, i always wanted to be a guru. I'm a fuckin GURU! EAT IT, LOSERS. But honestly, i'm not. And I know he's reading this, cuz I got him hooked.. i told you guys, i'm like a fuckin drug... once they had a taste, they just can't get enough of me.

But you must know i'm not the smartest or bestest or superstupendious mofo in the world.. I just like to think I have my head on straight (as i've been told), and know how to walk through this world without steppin in the doggie doo of life. If you want answers.. i'll try to give you some, but one day, i'll fuck it up, and you'll blame me for being wrong... so this is my disclaimer: I'm not perfect, I can only SUGGEST what I think would be right.

Thank you for feeding my ego though, now I have a reason to act like a dick in the next 24 hours. Then reality will kick in and I'll go on being my normal pathetic self.

Who wants to be my 5000th hit?