First, let me say a couple things that should be mentioned, but is not worth a whole post on:

I hate drexel.
I hate rain.
I hate government policies.
I hate potholes.

Now, I'll start. Today's topic of conversation: Bad Breathe.

This week, I've wiffed alot of bandits of the mouthwash police. It's always the same thing. A person starts talking, you listen... and all of a sudden it hits you.

Sometimes it's sweet, like a rotten banana.
Sometimes it's tangy, like a rotten orange.
Sometimes it's tolerable, like rotting tomatoes.
[What's up with all my fruit analogies? More importantly... what's with me knowing what all these rotten things smell like?]
And sometimes it's rank, like they liked their armpits all morning.

How exactly do you tell somebody they have bad breath? You can't just go "WOH, hold it. FUCK... go brush your teeth man!" That would be mean. I can't be that mean. Maybe i'll start carrying around gum and just offering it to people who need it. Maybe I'll talk about some imaginary guy that has bad breathe, so they get all paranoid. Well, what i usually do is do the yawn thing.. where you try to smell your own breathe... The offender never gets the hint though.

Ah well... time to call drexel and threaten their lives if I don't get my way..

So brush your teeth and tongue, and chew some gum.. or else, someone someday might just say it to you.

"WOH, hold it. FUCK... go brush your teeth man!"