As I got off the escalator of the subway station and onto the streets of Washington DC, I looked down the street toward the building I worked in. The guitarist that sets himself up one a week played his mellow tunes in the backround, and people dressed importantly with suits, ties and briefcases rushed past me. Road workers drilled and paved a section of the road I walked down, and the mellow beats of the guitarist fought to keep up with the hums and growls of diesal engines and heavy machinary.

That's when it hit me: None of this felt real.

I have been working for the United States Health and Human Services Office of Information and Technology Division since September. Even now, I still could not believe I was here. Not because it was amazing, but more of the fact that I had no idea what to feel. I thought to myself, is this the kind of environment I want to be stuck in for the next forty years of my life? This was exactly the kind of job I would net with my current major and area of expertise, but it felt like a dead end to me.

I don't ever see myself settling down in one job, in one area of skill to work for a living. I know that is the only way I'll ever become successful and make any substantial amount of money, but at the cost of what? I am too much of a free roaming spirit to be cubed in a cubicle for the rest of my life.

My horoscope says Taurus' are suppose to be grounded people, that they like to settle down and know what's around them. But right now, that doesn't seem real to me. Everything I do right now doesn't seem real.

Perhaps one day I'll find something to grasp to, so I can settle down to something real. But for now, I haven't found it yet.