If i believed in karma... or reincarnation... I would have to say that in my previous life, I was a horrible person. There can be no other explanation for the things that I go through!

What's currently on the list? My job, the GOVERNMENT, lost my paperwork and now, they can't process me, so i can't start on monday like I originally planned to. That means I have to sit around for another week doing nothing. I mean.. sure, it sounds nice and all, in theory.. but uh.. you can only take so much of freeloading around before you get sick of it. Plus, that's another week of NOT getting a paycheck.. and well, I had big plans with my paychecks.

Ok.. talking about it just drives me further into depression and the void that I feel i can never come out of.

Really, i'm not a negative person. I just don't think I can be positive right now. =)

Oh yea.. i almost forgot why I came onto blog in the first place. I wanted to yell about the incompetency of cingular's help service.

So today, I got to switch my number and calling area to a DC area so that i can continue to use my cellphone while I work. I make the call, i get all the info... the person keeps me on the phone for 30 minutes while typing things in... and doesn't say one word to me... then after that, he tells me to hit a bunch of numbers... and boom.. i should be done..

I tried to make some phonecalls.. but the phone doesn't work! It just says my number isn't recognized anymore.

great.

So now i must call again tomorrow.. and probably sit on the phone for another 30 minutes.

Woh.. talk about freaked out... i just lived through a tornado.... well.. i would talk about it.. but i relayed the story so many times that I just can't stand it anymore. Basically a tornado hit maryland and left me with no power for about a whole 24 hours. People died. Chaos chaos.

I've been starting to write in my profile more and more now instead of my blog. I guess it's a bad habit. I'm not exactly funny anymore. I used to be able to express my creative nature in such a creative fashion.. but nowadays, i feel rather bland, lifeless and un-funny-like. If that's a word.

Heh, well, i'm still funny.. it's just that I don't think I'm as funny as I used to be.

So creativity left me to dry like a grape ready to become the first raisen in a batch of raisenettes. Woo, that was a good metaphor.

Today, i'd like to talk about girls and their ideology on perfect guys. And no, i don't mean perfect guy as in the absolute perfectly handsome rich blah blah blah guy. Every girl has a different standard for what they consider the perfect guy. It's all BS.

How so? Let me start with this statement: Good Girls like Bad Boys.
Unfortunately, i've never heard a girl describe a "bad boy" as their perfect guy type.. but somehow, they always seem to be after that one guy. And you know the one too. The guy that doesn't give the girl a second glance, doesn't really notice the girl and just treats her as another face in the crowd. The rough and tough rebel dude that doesn't really give a crap on what other people think, and they like to do their own thing. Usually it ends up that if the guy does somehow become interested, he makes for a bad boyfriend, because he doesn't really remember birthdays, or anniversaries.. or even returning phonecalls. It's just the idea that she may be able to change the guy to what she wants, because he will do it out of his dedication to her. (wishful thinking?) Also, then there is that special happy moment when he does do something right, and it makes it all worth it, and it makes her feel like he's starting to appreciate her. And then it starts all over. Basically, the more a guy ignores her, the more obsessed she becomes at wanting to be at the center of his attention.

Which leads me to my second statement. Girls don't know what they really want.
Besides the bad boy situation.. which i see alot.. there are two more situations that fit the idea that girls don't know what they really want.

First, a girl is more likely to be attracted to a guy who is already the center of attention to many girls... or the guy that everyone wants to get to know, but nobody really does, even though he may not fit her perfect guy traits. How can this be explained? Simply, girls are like guys.. they want to *win*. For the girl to say, yes, I managed to hook the guy that everyone else wanted to hook... or I managed to get to know the guy personally when nobody else knows him like that... it's a way for the girl to show her status, to put herself above her peers. (not many girls will admit to liking a guy because of this... but they know it in their heart and soul this is true). Or even perhaps, it is because she sees the way that he treats other girls, and she likes the way he handle things, so she wants that kind of attention too.

Also (and somewhat polar opposite of the above), a girl will easily fall for a guy who is a loner, the guy who doesn't seem to be the center of attention, who seems like he will focus all his attention on her.. again, even if he does not fit her perfect guy traits. This second way is more of wanting the feeling of safety and security. When it comes to guys, girls do not really want to have to share them. Choosing to fall for a guy who nobody else seems to be interested in gives the girl a comfort zone. She knows that he will be there for her, and she knows she'll be treated right. Maternal instincts kick in, and the girl will want to be there for the guy to take care of him, knowing that he will be there for her too.

More next time.. tired of writing.. and starting to get this feeling of dread that many of my female friends will start yelling at me because of this entry.

I'm finally, officially moved into Maryland to start work on my job in DC with the US Department of Health and Human Services. How does Maryland welcome me? They give me a speeding ticket. Well, i would go into further detail, but I don't really want to talk about it. Let's just say it's eating at my soul and it did a good job of beating the racing spirit (and even just my regular driving spirit) out of me.

Now that i'm situated... i find myself in a lack of social activities... well, not really lack of in the sense that there is nothing to do.. but more.. lack of willpower to do things while you want to do other things. Ok.. if that made sense to you, then yes, i really am not the only one out there.

But now.. i must go and ponder and play and peruse my new surrounds.

Well, my life is pretty much almost complete. The ball is rolling, and it seems that I will be living life as a full fledge adult with a job for the next six months in Washington DC, at the US Department of Health and Human Services... the capitoal building being right across the street from me. If you think that isn't scary... you haven't been watching the news enough.

It's going to be weird moving on with life, but alas, this is what i wanted. The chance to move on and start over, the chance to grow from nothing and get a different viewpoint on my current life by living out another life, those are the things that I wished for. But now, faced with my wish, i am hesitant to take that last step, and scared to leave everything behind.

It won't be so bad though. I can be as far away or as close to my old self as I am willing to let myself be. The struggle now will be if I should completely move on, and just steadily seperate myself. And then, how much i'm willing to let go of my security, and my warm and loving past.

I don't even know if any of what i just said makes sense... getting kind of tired... time to sleep.

I for one am starting to get annoyed at these talks of World War 3, and the doom of this world. Nostradamus' predictions were a hoax. See Here for Proof.

Think about it this way. How many countries in this world would dare defy us in any way right now, knowing how pissed we were? Nobody goes around saying. "Yes, please, fight a war with me." Bin Laden, he is in hiding. Why? Because he knows he'd die right now if we knew where he was. He doesn't really have a country to back him up. If he is found guilty for everything, the government which protects him will basically let us take him without putting up a fight, knowing we will take him one way or another.

All of these events are tragic. They may change the country, the way we think, and the way we live. But if there is going to be a struggle where lives are at risk, it will be through stocks and currency... not missiles and bullets.

On a lighter note, in the midst of all these troubles, I finally was able to finish up the last of my basic car businesses. I got my car inspected, through shady dealings of course, since the tinted windows would not pass NJ inspection normally. Seventy Dollars it cost me for the "inspection". Honestly, it was worth then money, rather then to go through the trouble of making my car legal. Afterall, it's only tinted windows. I would have had them re-tinted afterward anyways, and probably would have cost me more then 70 dollars to do everything again.

Also, I did a little customization to my car. From Home Depot, Chicken Wire for $6.95. Two Cans of Spray Paint (Silver and Clear Coat), 2.95 each. The Seven hours to add grills in the front spoiler, and spraypaint various parts silver for affect.... priceless. It's ghetto classy. I wouldn't say it was ricing out.. because I put my heart into it.

That's basically all i did the entire day.. It was a worthwhile day of sweating beneath the disturbingly beautiful day. My mind was focused on something else for once, instead of what happened in the last 24 hours.

I woke up at 12 noon, completely oblivious to what was happening, to a doorbell ring from a friend. He came upstairs, mumbled a line about nyc and washington being bombed. He didn't say anything else, so i dismissed it as another program about "what if the US was attacked". We ate mcdonalds. We talked. I called up my friend because we were going to work on my car today. In the backround, I heard the sharp stressed voices of CNN new broadcasters. "NYC and DC have been bombed."

I hung up, turned on the news. I am still in total shock. September Eleventh, Two Thousand and One. A day that will live in infamy. Four plane crashes. One targeted at each of the two World Trade Center buildings. One straight to the heart of our military, the Pentagon. One, hypothesised to either be headed for Washington to bomb another building, or else, just completely coincidental [it seems now that i was hijacked, and the people on board were being patriotic (edit 2:23 pm)].

And in the aftermath, what is to come? A revitalization of terrorist activity. A shlew of monkey see monkey do copycats. An opening in our national security. A weakness. The economic setback put on this nation. A terrified virgin president who has to remain strong amidst the chaos.

Is that what the terrorists were thinking when they attacked us, the strongest country in the nation? Sadly, morbidly, I must thank them. Because of this attack, they have reinvoked national pride. They have set the ball rolling, and pushed us to act when we were complacent with living out our gluttunous American lives. As my friend's father has so stated, "It's like poking at a hornets nest with a stick." They have done nothing more then to make us angry, to make us stronger. We are a country who learns from our mistakes. It won't happen again, and if it does, it will only make things worse on themselves. They've been marked. Sooner or later, we will execute. The world should be afraid of our wraith. We have every right to seek and destroy.

I'd like to take a moment to give a few fairwell thoughts to the thousands of innocent victims who have died in this unneccessary incident. Our purest sympathy goes to the friends and families of the tragic, though we can do little more then offer you our thoughts and our hearts. I hope that we as a country will remember the pains of this tragedy, and let us be unified through the insanity.

To think... Just last night, I was innocent as a new born child, living out my life in the nation of nations, playing tetrinet with people across the United States of America. And to think... just last night, a few dozen individuals were having trouble sleeping... knowing tomorrow was their day of glory...

While sitting here, being an obsessive compulsive away message checker (see entry below), i was just thinking about how fast freshman year really went by. It seems like I remember every day... every mind numbing class... every decision not to go to class... every bullet on counter-strike fired... and it all seemed like yesterday.

But at the same time.. it seems like years have past. It is mostly because I feel like i have changed so very much since that first day I moved in. I really went through two lives at Drexel. I went in as a good student, a person who just wanted to have fun, but yet, keep good grades. But towards the end of the year, i just wanted to have fun. School died for me. I still did fairly decently.. but, i can just pull up my grades online right now.. and see the enormous difference between my gpa.

I don't know, was it a phase? Or have i permanently encrusted in my brain to be lazy? I think the laziness comes from the fact that I am even more cynical these days then I ever was. I just don't look at the world the same way. Sure, I can be happy, and I still love making other people happy, but, there are too many things in life that I can't ignore, and I know that it'll never change.

Hopefully things will be different when I move down to Maryland and start working at my internship down there. It'll be a chance for me to be in a new and different environment. I'll have new friends and actually work instead of mindless studying. It could be the beginning of a whole different outlook of life. *knock on wood*

Found this from a really kool girl.. and I thought everyone would like to see it.. since i was just talking about being an obsessive compulsive aim person the other day.
As always.. my comments are in the [ ]'s

The Top 25 Signs That You are Addicted to IM
25.) If you use the abbreviations lol, brb, or ttfn. [in our case... WAL, afk, wtf...]
24.) If finger cramps frequently force you to take a break from your current IM "session."
23.) If you hear dings everywhere you go. [sadly.. i do... but only cuz this one mp3 i have was badly recorded with IM sounds in the backround]
22.) If you refer to your involvement on IM as "the real world."
21.) If you get drunk and call people by their screenname. [been there.. done that...]
20.) If you have ever skipped class to talk on IM. [Or ever talked on aim while you were IN class?]
19.) If your family is becoming addicted too.
18.) If you have ever made a road trip to meet someone you only know from IM.
17.) If your spare time reading includes other peoples away messages. [Frank... hahahahahahaa]
16.) If you can create the entire repetoire of IM faces using their original punctuation marks.
15.) If you think that a persons font is part of their identity. [You changed your font! I didn't know it was you anymore!]
14.) If you have jargon that is only used while talking on IM. [I knO suM ppO wHo du tHO]
13.) If you use idle times and away messages to try and piece together exactly where a buddy is at any given time. Despite the fact that you may not have talked to that buddy in months.
12.) If you have made more friends online than in social situations at our school.
11.) If getting warned hurts your feelings. [ You warned me???? i can't believe you.]
10.) If you worry about your buddies that arent on.
9.) If the sound of an "opening door" sends you diving across the room to find out the newest buddy to join the scene. [hahahhahahahaahhaa]
8.) If you have the urge to move your fingers in a typing motion while carrying on a real "vocal" conversation.
7.) If you judge your self worth by the number of buddies in your list.
6.) If your most frequent pickup line is something like "whats your screenname?"
5.) If that pickup line is followed by "so,...will you be on tonight?"
4.) If your buddy list is in alphabetical order. [Please tell me i'm not the only one who's done this. -_-;;;;;;]
3.) If you arrange your IM boxes in a specific order of rank based on importance of their conversation.
2.) If your eyes burn after a "session."
1.) If you are reading this [blog because of my away message].

On a side note... i really have to stop sleeping until 4-5 pm...

I just remembered this from a couple of days ago. Snapple made a new flavor called Raspberry Peach. It is probably the best drink I've ever drinkened... right.. anyways... it's really good, because, I always like raspberry icedtea... and peach icedtea was just good whenever I wanted a change... now if only they would add the "tea" into it... but then again, I could always just buy raspberry and peach icedtea and mix it together.

...
...
Nevermind, I don't know why i bother talking. sigh.

So today, I went to pick up my license plates and registration card from the dealer. Yes, finally i feel like I really own the car. On the way back, we passed a Honda CRX SI, the car that my boy really likes, so we decided to stop in there and see how much the car costs. My friend had every intention of buying it if the car was in good standing, and he just went through the usual list of questions: How much does the car cost, how much down payment is needed-- but right then, the guy gives an attitude problem and says he doesn't finance, and he wants all of the money up front. $3200. We say ok, that's not a bad price for the car. We walk back out to look at the car and conspire on if it's worth it. Then my friend goes back in to ask if he could hear the engine. Is that so wrong of a customer who has intentions of buying the car?

Well, the guy says "You don't even have the money, why do you want to look?"
Of course, that just pissed us off. My friend was like, "what makes you think I don't have the money?"
And the guy was like, "You asked about financing didn't you?"
So that pissed me off, and I said "well, if you don't think we have the money, then I don't think we want the car."

We walked about, being really pissed off that this guy assumed that we didn't have money... and plus, I felt like he was being racist towards us. Damn rednecks...

So for good measure, I pulled up in front of his face with my new Mitsubishi Eclipse. Pointed at my temporary license, showing him that I just bought a damn new car, so I sure as hell was able to buy a measly CRX if i wanted to... and then I proceeded to peel out.

I am still the master of making people feel stupid.

My top right wisdom tooth is growing in. It's exciting. I feel like a little boy again, poking at my gums, waiting for my new tooth to grow in. Shoot, it's not everyday you get to be nostalgic and pretend you're fwee years old with new teeth.

On other nostalgic notes, today was the first day of school at my highschool. Since i had nothing better to do.. i decided to sneak in, knowing i could get away with it with the mass confusion... those damn freshman. But yea, it was fun to walk around the hallways like I really was coming back to school again over summer break. I got to say hi to so many friends... and so many teachers.

It's funny how the teachers that knew I graduated gave me that "I know you're not suppose to be hear, but i'm not going to say anything" look. I'm glad they didn't. It was the fix I needed to realize that I missed highschool, but i've grown up enough to not want to go through it again.

Tomorrow I find out if I will be hired for any of the internships I applied for. Wish me luck. If i'm not granted any of those jobs... then it's back to square one... and another delay into moving on with my life.

Have I really been so busy to not write in my journal on a daily basis anymore? It seems weird... cuz i'm always online. I think i'm just too overly car obsessive lately, and it's been sucking up my time.

Wow. You know what? That entry was from last night... and I'm not finishing it until now. What did i do? Oh yes, i chilled with some friends... chatted with some people online... but basically forgot to finish my journal. Now i don't feel like writing. I guess i just have nothing to say anymore.

My allergies are starting to kick in again. I've come to realize that I can't get rid of them. In this time, the before Autumn phase, is when my hayfever kicks in. Watery itchy eyes, itchy nose, crazy sneezing. I at least have to use five tissues in the morning just to unclog myself. It's horrible. Don't I paint a pretty picture?

After all of that, I usually get sick during the Winter, and it usually last until Spring... in which my allergies kick in yet again from the pollen in the air. That usually doesn't end until the middle of summer, where I get a month or so of freedom from no tissues... and then, it catches me offguard again at this time of the year.

Yes, I do take allergy medicine. Clariton works wonders, but unfortunately, it's prescription only, and seeing a doctor just to get a perscription slip is annoying. I used to just take Dimetapp 24 hour pills. They weren't as perfect as clariton, but they stopped the symptoms for the day. For some stupid reason, they stopped making them. I was really upset. I still am. I guess I was the only person around that bought them.

Today, i had my job interview for the Legal Secretary position. It was um... interesting to say the least. He basically wants me to do all the crap that he doesn't want to do himself. It's kinda annoying to know that he's getting paid big bucks while i do all the labor. Probably won't work there even if he wants me to.

Yes, I drove the hour and a half that it took to get there... stalled out about 7-8 times. Half of which was because I wasn't used to the stop and go traffic when a highway is clogged.. and the other half is because I kept panicking while I was stopped on a hill.. because the car rolls backwards when you first let go of the brake... it's all about timing.. which I haven't gotten down yet.

After the interview, I drove back toward home and stopped in Philly. My friend from Upenn asked me to go to church with him. I was all for it, because i used to go to that church during the school year, so i wanted to see how everything was. It was amazing. Everyone remembered me and I felt complete. Something I haven't felt in a long time. It was good to be able to sing songs again and just not stress about anything. And the pastor's sermon caught me offguard and really moved me. I didn't think it would affect me that much.

I also brought my friend from back home to go, since he went up with me to the interview. I think he was really moved too. It was great timing to bring him, because the pastor's sermon was about things that he could relate to in his life. I talked to him a little about his first real church experience afterward, and I tried to encourage him to be interested.

After church, I chilled with that Upenn friend. I showed him my car (hehe), and then we just hung around campus.. and he showed me all his friends' rooms. Some of the Upenn rooms are ultra ultra nice. I really do live in Upenn's shadow when I attend Drexel.

That's about it... Oh yea. Haha, it's not really that big of a deal, but I actually met Di88di from asian avenue, cuz she was at the church too, and I think she's going to Upenn now. If you read alot of AA-OnlineJournals.. then you probably know who she is. But if not, ah well, now you do.